Last week, The Daily Beast counted down 12 hot new baby names inspired by celebrities and fictional characters, including Hillary (you know, the the Secretary of State) and Draco (as in Harry Potter’s Draco Malfoy). While we hope we don’t see too many baby Dracos out there, it’s true that lots of us were named not for saints or family members or even songs, but for beloved television characters. So what, exactly, are today’s parents thinking? Has there ever been a nice Blair on a TV show? A Bobby who isn’t hapless? For your pop culture naming pleasure, we reveal what your name means according to television stereotypes, after the jump.
Albert, Al
The leader of whatever gang he’s in, certainly no pushover. Possesses an absurd talent for obscure musical instruments or criminal activity.
According to: Deadwood, Fat Albert
Andy
Either an irresponsible stoner drop-out or a dedicated cop, probably with a drinking problem.
According to: Weeds, NYPD Blue, The Andy Griffith Show
Angela
A straight-laced, conservative stickler or an impetuous, confused emblem of the 1990s. Either way, a smart cookie.
According to: The Office, My So-Called Life
Anne
Sensible, practical, and occasionally bland — until she comes close to royalty.
According to: Arrested Development, The Tudors, Parks and Recreation
Barney
A goofy bachelor, prone to over-analyzing and hatching intricate schemes. Has a heart of gold, but hides it.
According to: How I Met Your Mother, The Andy Griffith Show
Bill
A serious, slightly lecherous family man with great ambitions.
According to: Big Love, True Blood
Blair
A slightly rebellious, fashionable, extremely spoiled queen bee. A loyal friend, but only to a select few.
According to: Gossip Girl, The Facts of Life
Bob, Bobby
A cheerful sponge, demonic possessor, or Elvis enthusiast with connections to the mob. Kind of a pushover in most cases.
According to: The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Spongebob Squarepants, Twin Peaks
Brian, Bryan
The smartest kid in school, but he never gets the girl.
According to: My So-Called Life, Family Guy, Still Standing
Carrie
A fragile pioneer intellectual or a successful narcissistic writer.
According: Sex and the City, Little House on the Prairie
Charles, Charlie
An efficient, if reluctant, assistant or a reclusive, micro-managing millionaire.
According to: West Wing, Charlie’s Angels, The Tudors
Charlotte
Uptight, conservative, whip-smart, and prone to suffering from mysterious diseases.
According to: Sex and the City, Lost
Dale
A quirky, small-town guy with possible psychotic tendencies.
According to: Twin Peaks, King of the Hill
Diane, Diana
A bright, witty, strong lady with some serious secrets. Prone to really complicated relationships.
According to: Cheers, Wonder Woman, V
Dwight
Fiercely dedicated to his job but has difficulty in social situations.
According to: The Office, Memphis Beat
Elaine
Assertive, intelligent, and gifted, with a troubled love life.
According to: Seinfeld, Taxi
Emma
Keeps to herself and always looks great.
According to: The Avengers, Glee
George
A futuristic patriarch, timid daddy’s boy, or crotchety, slow-witted sidekick.
According to: Seinfeld, The Jetsons, Arrested Development
Gregory, Greg
A misanthropic genius or an extremely sweet older brother-type who prefers tight pants.
According to: House, M.D., The Brady Bunch
Jack
A leader, whether in fashion, medicine, terrorist-fighting, or microwave selling. Also has great hair.
According to: Will & Grace, 24, 30 Rock, Lost
Jerry
Clever, sneaky, funny, but irritating to the wrong people.
According to: Seinfeld, Tom and Jerry
Jim, Jimmy
The class clown. Better at his job than he wants to admit.
According: The Office, The Wire
Joey, Joe
Intuitive and good-looking, but a little dumb.
According to: Dragnet, Friends
Jordan
A scheming motivator or a sweet but dumb heartthrob.
According to: My So-Called Life, Dexter
Karen
A squeaky alcoholic with lots of money throw around; a masochistic romantic with great personal style.
According to: Will & Grace, Californication
Kenneth, Kenny
A hapless small-town boy who moves to the big city to pursue his dreams; a terrible storyteller who’s about ten years behind the times.
According to: 30 Rock, Eastbound and Down
Kevin
Childish, filled with wonder, and the best years of his life come before the age of 20.
According to: The Office, The Wonder Years
Lindsay
Pretty, but self-absorbed, has difficulty finding her place in life.
According to: Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development
Liz, Lizzie
A lovable but awkward control freak whose friends constantly pull her into madcap adventures.
According to: 30 Rock, Lizzie Maguire
Logan
A preppy lady’s man with a soft spot for intelligent women.
According to: Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls
Lucille
A wealthy housewife who goes on zany adventures, possibly has a plastic surgery addiction.
According to: I Love Lucy, Arrested Development
Margaret
Level-headed, strict, solid, and somewhat humorless.
According to: M*A*S*H, Becker
Michael
A doofy guy with good intentions but terrible execution.
According to: The Office, Arrested Development
Miranda
Sensible, intimidating, and cynical.
According to: Sex and the City, Grey’s Anatomy
Nate
A hunky, kind of stupid do-gooder with poor relationship skills.
According to: Six Feet Under, Gossip Girl
Phyllis
A spoiled, somewhat snobby, occasionally meek woman who marries well.
According to: The Office, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Pam
A loyal assistant who has trouble fitting in.
According to: The Office, True Blood, The Cosby Show
Phoebe
A wild child who believes in the supernatural and has a hard family life.
According to: Friends, Charmed
Rachel
Stuck-up, and appearance-obsessed but extraordinarily talented.
According to: Friends, Glee
Rayanne
A rebellious free spirit prone to problems with substances and an unhappy childhood.
According to: My So-Called Life
Ross
A hopeless romantic with a difficult career path.
According to: Friends, Guiding Light
Sam
Awkward as a teenager, but grows up to be a lothario who enjoys running the show.
According to: The West Wing, Cheers, Freaks and Geeks
Sharon
A straight-laced traditionalist or an isolated bombshell.
According to: My So-Called Life, Battlestar Galactica
Sue, Susan
A power-hungry stickler with a hectic schedule and a troubled romantic past.
According to: Glee, Suddenly Susan
Sydney
A badass, globe-trotting loner with a lot of secrets.
According to: Relic Hunter, Alias
Ted
Buffoonish but sweet, has inner standards that rarely play out in real life.
According to: How I Met Your Mother, Father Ted, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Tim
A big personality who loves to showboat but has a complicated home life.
According to: Friday Night Lights, Home Improvement
Tony
An unorthodox Italian-American with a lot of friends. Possibly a sociopath.
According to: The Sopranos, Taxi, Skins
Veronica
An outcast with a dry wit and an inquisitive nature.
According to: Veronica Mars
Walter
A brilliant scientist who uses his genius towards unsavory ends.
According to: Breaking Bad, Fringe
Will
A musically talented, optimistic neat freak.
According to: Will & Grace, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Glee
Zack, Zach
An introspective, scheming stud who loves mysteries.
According to: Saved by the Bell, Bones, The Vampire Diaries