The TV Character Baby Name Dictionary

Last week, The Daily Beast counted down 12 hot new baby names inspired by celebrities and fictional characters, including Hillary (you know, the the Secretary of State) and Draco (as in Harry Potter’s Draco Malfoy). While we hope we don’t see too many baby Dracos out there, it’s true that lots of us  were named not for saints or family members or even songs, but for beloved television characters. So what, exactly, are today’s parents thinking? Has there ever been a nice Blair on a TV show? A Bobby who isn’t hapless? For your pop culture naming pleasure, we reveal what your name means according to television stereotypes, after the jump.

Albert, Al

The leader of whatever gang he’s in, certainly no pushover. Possesses an absurd talent for obscure musical instruments or criminal activity.

According to: Deadwood, Fat Albert


Either an irresponsible stoner drop-out or a dedicated cop, probably with a drinking problem.

According to: Weeds, NYPD Blue, The Andy Griffith Show


A straight-laced, conservative stickler or an impetuous, confused emblem of the 1990s. Either way, a smart cookie.

According to: The Office, My So-Called Life


Sensible, practical, and occasionally bland — until she comes close to royalty.

According to: Arrested Development, The Tudors, Parks and Recreation


A goofy bachelor, prone to over-analyzing and hatching intricate schemes. Has a heart of gold, but hides it.

According to: How I Met Your Mother, The Andy Griffith Show


A serious, slightly lecherous family man with great ambitions.

According to: Big Love, True Blood


A slightly rebellious, fashionable, extremely spoiled queen bee. A loyal friend, but only to a select few.

According to: Gossip Girl, The Facts of Life

Bob, Bobby

A cheerful sponge, demonic possessor, or Elvis enthusiast with connections to the mob. Kind of a pushover in most cases.

According to: The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Spongebob Squarepants, Twin Peaks

Brian, Bryan

The smartest kid in school, but he never gets the girl.

According to: My So-Called Life, Family Guy, Still Standing


A fragile pioneer intellectual or a successful narcissistic writer.

According: Sex and the City, Little House on the Prairie

Charles, Charlie

An efficient, if reluctant, assistant or a reclusive, micro-managing millionaire.

According to: West Wing, Charlie’s Angels, The Tudors


Uptight, conservative, whip-smart, and prone to suffering from mysterious diseases.

According to: Sex and the City, Lost