Rhetorical Questions Inspired By the Weekend Box Office

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1. Fast & Furious – $72.51m Why would you pay to see that when you can watch Fast & Bicurious for free?

2. Monsters vs. Aliens – $33.51m What happened kiddies? You couldn’t maintain that opening weekend momentum? Your mom wouldn’t take you to see it twice??

3. The Haunting in Connecticut – $9.55m Do you know that this one is based on a true story? That boy who’s puking on the movie poster just got a whole lot freakier, huh?

4. Knowing – $8.13m Was this all the sad dudes who couldn’t get tickets to Fast & Furious?

5. I Love You, Man – $7.85m Why did you go and see this instead of Adventureland? WHY?? Bill Hader needs your love more, man.