Everyone had a favorite book as a kid – you know, that tattered old thing you carried from room to room and made you parents read out loud to you over and over again, the one that you quoted until you were, um, a little too old to be doing so. We know our lives were shaped in part by the literature we loved as children, so inspired by this recent list of books every child should read, we got to thinking about what your favorite kids book back then might say about you now that you’re all grown up. Click through for our predictions, and do your best to take it with the grain of salt we intend – don’t worry, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory lovers, we’re not really accusing you of advocating slavery. Be sure to add to the fun and make up your own in the comments!
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
There are eighteen different kinds of tea in your kitchen, and plenty of herbs.
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
You may be Employee of the Month at work, but you’re a Hobbes scholar at heart.
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
Video games are still a huge part of your life. What? They could be important!
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Family may be the most important thing to you, but that wouldn’t stop you from stealing your sister’s ex boyfriend.
The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill
You are – or wish you were – an amateur guerrilla graffiti artist. Damn the man, man!
Tintin in Tibet by Hergé
You’re a compulsive traveller and manage to make friends no matter where you go. Sometimes that leads to getting locked in prison or drugged, but you can roll with the punches.
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Anytime any of your friends need a tool – or any kind of food for that matter – they know where to come. You’ve got everything.
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
The residual guilt may be nearly unbearable, but at least you’ll be a good parent.
The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
Quiet and complex, you see things others do not.
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
Your friends may be totally crazy, but you’re together enough that you can go out partying with them every night and still hold down a full-time job.
Goosebumps by R.L. Stine
You’re the guy who finds a way to ruin every party.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Even though you complain all the time that you’re everybody’s go-to guy, secretly it’s like crack to you.
Animal Farm by George Orwell
You’re probably a genius by now. Or a politician. Definitely not both.
Redwall by Brian Jacques
You’re a staunch vegetarian and have a vast wine cellar. You also have really weird prejudices against random animals.
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
Your work is going up at the MoMa next week. It’s no big deal.
Matlida by Roald Dahl
You can’t stop talking about how your multi-media novel is going to be really awesome. It probably is.
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
No matter what, you’re always the only one at the office at 9am on the dot. Then you annoy everyone all day with all your clever puns.
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Your wanderlust is pretty serious this time of year.
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Every day, you make a point of wearing at least one ridiculously colorful piece of clothing.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
You’re a creative gastronomist with a flexible policy on slave labor.
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
Your dermatologist has made a million dollars off of you.
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
You may or may not be that lady who talks to her plants.
The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander
Sure, your job sucks now, but you’re not about to sweat it. As soon as you pay your dues, you’re going to shoot right to the top of the company.
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Every house you live in must be outfitted with a walk in closet. Just in case.