If you’ve ever wondered what your favorite literary characters might be listening to while they save the world/contemplate existence/get into trouble, or hallucinated a soundtrack to go along with your favorite novels, well, us too. But wonder no more! Here, we sneak a look at the hypothetical iPods of some of literature’s most interesting characters. What would be on the personal playlists of Holden Caulfield or Elizabeth Bennett, Huck Finn or Harry Potter, Tintin or Humbert Humbert? Something revealing, we bet. Or at least something danceable. Read on for a cozy reading soundtrack, character study, or yet another way to emulate your favorite literary hero. This week: if only to sustain your Easter-fueled candy buzz, Roald Dahl’s magnificent uber-brat, Veruca Salt.
Who can forget the dulcet English tones of little miss Veruca Salt in the 1971 film version as she squeals out, “I want an Oompa Loompa now, Daddy!” But it’s not just Oompa Loompas — it’s pretty much everything. Veruca is a spoiled brat who wants her candy and wants it now, and has her dear old daddy just about wrapped around her pretty little pinky finger. She may get the best of everything, but be warned: we don’t credit her with the best musical taste in the world. She’s just a little girl, after all. Can’t blame her for loving the Biebs. Here’s what we think Veruca Salt would stamp her foot, shriek for her Daddy, and get attacked by an army of squirrels to.
“I Want Candy” — Aaron Carter
This track has the dual bonus of being something a girl like Veruca would listen to (after all, her walls are probably coated with pictures of Aaron Carter and Biebs and other like, total dreamboats) and being spot-on relevant to the plot. That girl wants candy, man.
“Friday” — Rebecca Black
If only for moral support, since Veruca’s own mind-bendingly terrible Ark Music Factory song is coming out in a minute, financed by dear old daddy.
“Candy” — Mandy Moore
This is hands down what Veruca listens to when she’s getting ready for school in the morning. She gets the maid to turn the volume up at the chorus.
“Can’t Tell Me Nothing” — Kanye West
It’s just this kind of thinking that gets you sent flailing down the garbage chute into a massive pile of garbage.
“Most Expensive Girl in the World” — Lou Bega
Not only would Veruca probably have the kind of terrible taste necessary to enjoy a song like this, she’d be pleased as punch to sing along with lyrics about men tripping all over themselves to buy things for a girl.
“Whip My Hair” — Willow Smith
From one pre-adolescent, ultra-rich daddy’s girl to another — “Pay no attention to them haters ’cause we whip ‘em off”
“Sugar Daddy” — The Hot Toddies
Veruca probably doesn’t understand the entirety of this song yet, but it makes her tingle in strange places.
“All Hail Me” — Veruca Salt
Though we don’t normally put obviously self-referential titles on our characters’ playlists, Veruca Salt is so self-involved that she would master any kind of time-space continuum to listen to a band named after her. Even though Veruca Salt would be way too hard for Veruca Salt’s pretty little ears.