How Did the ‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Embarrass Us in Italy This Week?

For most of the decade, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been embarrassing Italy in the eyes of Americans (along with the rest of the world). Now, America has returned the favor by sending the Jersey Shore crew to Florence, to humiliate us in the eyes of the Italians. While they’re in Europe, we’ll be checking in with Snooki, The Situation, et al, regularly, in a series we’re calling “How Did the Jersey Shore Cast Embarrass Us in Italy This Week?” The second installment — in which the cast relocates the Vatican and Sammi doesn’t know what raspberries are — is after the jump.

Poor muscle control. Did anyone manage to get a good count of how many times Deena totally wipes out? And she isn’t the only one: Ronnie — who, by the way, is giving the Situation a run for his Biggest Asshole of the Season money — falls off the sidewalk, too. How much do you have to drink for that to happen when you are a tank-size man?

Foggy understanding of how coffee is actually made. JWoww is absolutely at a loss without a coffee maker and electric grinder. She rejects an old-looking, hand-crank grinder in favor of smashing the beans with a meat tenderizer. Her comment on encountering a stove-top espresso maker for the first time: “Making coffee in Italy is like making coffee in the 1600s.”

Bad bromance. Ronnie and Vinny get naked to test out their indoor jacuzzi. Ronnie calls it the “lovecuzzi” because “it gravitates you toward each other.” Neither guido seems bothered by this. Well, that’s very continental of them.

Stereotypical sartorial choices. Did anyone else notice that Snooki spent half the episode dressed like an extra from La Dolce Vita, with that big hat?

Mournfully poor knowledge of Italian geography and culture. At least twice during the episode, the cast misidentified a big, old church as the Vatican. One small issue with that: Vatican City is an entire city within Rome. The Jersey Shore cast is in Florence. At one lovely, outdoor meal, we hear the following: “What’s that church called? The Vatican? Where Da Vince painted his…” Oy.

Inability to judge the age of potential hook-ups. Since the legal age for purchasing alcohol in Italy is 16, and thus anyone in a given club could be a teenager, the guys seem completely helpless at determining whether they’re hitting on high-school girls. (Not that this bothers them too much.)

No frame of reference for beautiful Italian architecture and quaint shops. As they’re strolling through the streets of Florence, one of the guys remarks, “It’s almost like Beauty and the Beast. I feel like people are gonna start singin’ out their windows.”

Insufficient understanding of what it means to be in a foreign country. “Everything is in another language,” Deena whines at the grocery store. “You’re reading and it’s, like, different words.” Later, she can’t understand the controls on the dishwasher and floods the kitchen with soap.

Limited knowledge of indigenous produce. Sammi misidentifies shallots, first as garlic, then (after apparently reading the package) as scallions. Then, she sniffs dubiously at a package of raspberries, wondering why Italy has such “weird strawberries.”

The Situation. Yup, for the second week in a row, the Situation makes the list by refusing to leave Snooki alone at the club, then eavesdropping on her phone call with her boyfriend, Jionni, and comforting her when it doesn’t go well. He continues to prove his undying love for her by hooking up with some blonde girl at the next club night. Then, he sits Snooki down to have a serious chat: “You’re not just somebody to take home,” he tells her. She rejects him — which is a good move, but will it last? We’re pretty sure Mike won’t give up until he’s caused some infidelity-level drama.