Eric Taylor (Friday Night Lights) and Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)
Sure, Coach Taylor is a character on a show that makes everyone cry and Ron Swanson is the funniest part of Parks and Rec, but they have a lot in common. Rugged, manly men who also know how to appreciate a smart, strong (in Ron’s case, occasionally too-strong) woman, these are no-bullshit guys with good, old-fashioned values who won’t hesitate to call you out for being a wimp. And, based on the photo Vulture dug up, we’re pretty sure Coach could match Ron bite for bite in a steak-eating contest.
Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)
It makes sense that Buffy and Veronica would get along so well — after Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air, viewers and critics generally agreed that Veronica Mars filled the gap it left. Although only Buffy has honest-to-goodness super powers, both are incredibly intelligent and talented teen heroines who fight evil (whether in the form of demons or criminals). We imagine they’d have a lot to discuss and could especially empathize over people underestimating them because they’re cute, petite blondes.
Roseanne Conner (Roseanne) and Dorothy Zbornak (Golden Girls)
Roseanne Conner’s mom, Bev, is a nightmare. So it’s not difficult to imagine that she’s always longed for a mother who she could actually talk to, who shares her pragmatic worldview, gruff personality, and sarcastic sense of humor. That woman is Dorothy Zbornak — who we assume would enjoy hanging out with another lady who actually has her shit together, which would be a nice change of pace from her Golden Girls house mates.
Steve Urkel (Family Matters) and Samuel “Screech” Powers (Saved by the Bell)
As the preeminent nerds of ’90s teen TV, Screech and Urkel have a lot in common. Both wear unfashionable, loudly colorful get-ups (although Screech looks a bit cooler, purely because suspenders aren’t part of his wardrobe), have annoying voices, and are super-smart science types who are always doing ill-advised experiments. Can’t you just see them commiserating over how little love they get from the beautiful girls (Lisa Turtle for Screech, Laura Winslow for Urkel) they obsess over?
Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks) and Chris Traeger (Parks and Recreation)
This one isn’t so obvious, but think about it — Agent Cooper and Chris Traeger are both outsiders who come to assume positions of authority in a new town, and they have pretty much exactly the same temperament. Cooper and Chris are smart, unnervingly upbeat guys who are so apparently squeaky-clean that they almost come off as asexual (never mind Chris’s fairly chaste-seeming thing with Ann Perkins). They might quarrel over Cooper’s love of pie, but we’re sure Chris would be game to try his FBI buddy’s hanging-upside-down workout regimen.
Betty Draper (Mad Men) and Nancy Botwin (Weeds)
Betty Draper and Nancy Botwin are both perennial Worst Mom of the Year contenders, and we can imagine them getting together in some kind of Thelma and Louise-style death trip. They would reminisce together about their failed marriages and lothario ex-husbands, and bitch about how no one understands how terrible it is to have children.
Constance Carmell (Party Down) and Jenna Maroney (30 Rock)
Jenna Maroney doesn’t know it yet, but Constance Carmell is her future. Constance was a D-list actress who partied hard in the ’70s and ’80s before falling so far she had to take catering gigs to make ends meet. Jenna is just as silly, self-absorbed, and — how do we put this? — freaky as Constance, and we’re convinced that she isn’t on track to age gracefully. Not only would these two get on famously, but Constance would serve as the perfect cautionary tale for fame-hungry Jenna.
Lafayette Reynolds (True Blood) and Rickie Vasquez (My So-Called Life)
This friendship would basically be an “It Gets Better” video brought to life. See, Rickie? Queer teenagers with a penchant for earrings and make-up can grow up to be successful line cook/road-crew worker/drug dealer/prostitutes with hot bruja boyfriends! Okay, so Lafayette’s life isn’t exactly simple or happy, either — but at least his problems tend to have very little to do with his sexual orientation!
Jane Lane (Daria) and Claire Fisher (Six Feet Under)
We’ve already been over Daria Morgendoffer’s TV-character soul mates, but how about her best pal Jane Lane? We can see her making fast art-school friends with the similarly sardonic Claire Fisher. They would work on their masterpieces together and talk about how relieved they both are that high school is finally over.
George Costanza (Seinfeld) and Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Actually? They’d probably hate each other.