No matter how much we love them, there comes a time when we must face up to the sad reality of film and TV’s fictional bands: They don’t write their own songs. It just isn’t possible. They aren’t real. Solace, however, can be found in the surprising little-known facts that accompany these fake jams. Many of them, for instance, were written and recorded by actual bands long before they became hits for your favorite faux ensembles, while others were simply ghostwritten by artists you probably know. Meet the real musicians behind film and TV’s fake bands after the jump.
“Forever” – Jesse and the Rippers/The Beach Boys (Full House, 1992)
For those of us who couldn’t see Jesse and the Rippers at the Smash Club, our favorite Full House uncle released a video of himself doing the usual Jesse Katsopolis things – y’know, playing footsie with babies, pondering his shirtless thoughts, rocking out in candle-lit churches. Somewhere between staring into a mirror and staring into our souls (at the 0:57 mark), Jesse is shown harmonizing with three men: Carl Wilson, Bruce Johnston, and Mike Love. These aren’t just any ol’ Rippers, they’re Beach Boys. In fact, the Beach Boys wrote “Forever” for their album Sunflower in 1970, long before the song made sitcom wedding history as an Uncle Jesse “original” in 1991. How rude? Cut. It. Out? You’re in big trouble, mister? Whatever Full House catchphrase you choose to convey your disappointment, this music video confirms that John Stamos has rarely left bed since the early ‘90s, and we’re okay with that.