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Hey, Flavorwire readers, did you watch the Emmys last night? There were a few great moments — when Friday Night Lights finally won a few awards, for example — and a few too many jokes that fell flat (why get Jane Lynch to host when you’re only going to let her get in one great zinger about how Entourage explains why she’s a lesbian?). The prevailing mood of the night, however, was neither triumph nor disappointment; it was extreme awkwardness. Relive the mortification and confusion with us as we enumerate the night’s most uncomfortable moments after the jump.

1. The day’s first awkward Emmy moment happened hours before the telecast began: Alec Baldwin was supposed to participate in the opening skit and deliver a few lines that poked fun at Rupert Murdoch and the NewsCorp phone hacking scandal, but Fox killed the joke. Baldwin responded by demanding to be taken out of the clip. He was replaced by Leonard Nimoy — whose presence in the sketch felt as random as it sounds.

2. Ricky Gervais’s Golden Globes-referencing self-censoring bonanza was one of the evening few truly funny bits — and Jane Lynch’s response to his need for nastiness was just as awkward and hilarious: “Poor little Ricky Gervais. Someone didn’t get enough hugs from Mommy and somehow it’s Hollywood’s fault.”

3. Jane Lynch reacts to losing the Best Supporting Actress Emmy to Julie Bowen: “If I didn’t have to be here, I’d be home eating a tub of turkey meatballs in the dark.”

4. Charlie Sheen publicly squashing his beef with Two and a Half Men: “From the bottom of my heart, I wish them nothing but the best for this upcoming season,” he told the audience. He may be sorry, but he still looked pretty freaking haggard and twitchy from where we were sitting, and being magnanimous really doesn’t suit him.

5. Did you notice that, when The Daily Show won its Emmy, presenter David Spade muttered, “Give me a break”? He did!

6. The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton, dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. For those of you who missed the original collaboration on Saturday Night Live, know this: You may have been drunk, but you were not hallucinating. This absolutely happened. Yes, Akon was there, too.

7. The part of Martin Scorsese’s acceptance speech in which he thanked Paz de la Huerta and we all had to picture him directing her.

8. Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights‘ Coach Taylor, won an Emmy, but Mrs. Coach (Connie Britton) lost out to Julianna Margulies. Their roles were so interconnected and they were so perfect together that this seems tremendously unfair.

9. LL Cool J jumping onstage with the awful Emmytones. We believe Das Racist said it best: “Sit down, man.”

10. The a cappella rendition of “Hallelujah” that accompanied the “In Memoriam” segment was so terrible it basically dishonored every single dearly departed TV legend in the montage. First of all, let’s stop using a characteristically complex Leonard Cohen song as emotional shorthand for, “It’s time to feel things now.” Secondly, if this song really does need to be ubiquitous, let’s at least just play the Cohen original or the Jeff Buckley cover.