Exclusive: Make Your Own Donald Rumsfeld Bible Briefing

We’re still reeling over the revelation that Donald Rumsfeld included bible-quoting, crusade-style briefings during the invasion of Iraq. While the idea of fighting fundamentalism by calling for holy war is pretty unsettling, our real story here is our military’s stunning lack of familiarity with Photoshop (seriously, could these cut and pastes be any uglier?). The good news: You don’t need any skill at all to alter the alterations. After the jump, a few of our attempts at fill-in-the-blank bible briefings, and the templates so you can make your own.

BEFORE:

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AFTER:

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BEFORE:

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AFTER:

rummyfinal2b1

MAKE YOUR OWN (Right Click to Download) Hint: Times New Roman 12 (Bold/Italic) looks pretty close:

crusade1

crusade2

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[...] out on Pelosi, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is totally up to talk it out (not!), Rumsfeld put the holy in war, drunk piloting is actually an issue, and work just won’t end. [...]

thomas, you are an idiot plain and simple

It really is appalling how the christians have hijacked the USA for their own personal and religious gains. The non-christian "crusaders" will one day walk the earth and take back what is rightfully ours (a secular america). Go Obama! Down with Catholism - the war mongers of the 20th century! The Nazi Catholics have temporarily taken over our country.... Let the economy fail so we can break up the US and send the GOP to Texas!

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  1. [...] out on Pelosi, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is totally up to talk it out (not!), Rumsfeld put the holy in war, drunk piloting is actually an issue, and work just won’t end. [...]