We’re not conservatives here at Flavorpill — we marveled at Avatar like everyone else, and we’re huge fans of modern CGI and motion capture techniques, and constantly in awe of the previously unimaginable cinematic possibilities they allow. We’re sure that there are some old-time filmmakers who’d kill to get at such technology — can you imagine Alejandro Jodorowsky let loose with CGI, for instance? But equally, there are some films that work precisely because of the archaic technology they used, and that we reckon wouldn’t be improved with glitzy modern makeovers. The latest questionable remake — Matthijs van Heijningen’s take on John Carpeneter’s The Thing — is out this week, and with Hollywood looking more and more to the past for inspiration, we’re pre-emptively warning them off the films after the jump. What are your untouchable classics?
The Dark Crystal
Anyone who’s seen The Muppet Show can testify to how uncannily expressive Jim Henson’s puppets were. But we think his work reached its zenith with this classic, a surprisingly dark piece of fantasy that was a massive part of Flavopill’s childhood. The Skeksis are frightening even today, while protagonist Jed and his fellow Gelflings manage to be both cute (without being, y’know, cutsesy) and genuinely sympathetic characters. We can’t imagine either aspect of the film would be improved by replacing the puppets with computer-generated versions.