There’s Dr Pepper. There’s Diet Dr Pepper — which, as many have noted, tastes almost exactly like the original. Then there are the countless variations (Cherry Vanilla, sugar-sweetened Heritage Dr Pepper). And now, since there apparently aren’t enough beverage options for those who like their carbonated water to taste like 23 unidentified, proprietary flavors, the Dr Pepper Snapple Group has unveiled Dr Pepper 10, a ten-calorie soft drink that is supposed to serve as the male alternative to the hopelessly girlie Diet Dr Pepper.
So, besides the token “10 bold calories,” what makes Dr Pepper 10 a drink for dudes? Hey, maybe it’s the ad campaign that insists the beverage is “not for women” and the terribly designed, matte gray can. (Then again, perhaps the benefits of this aesthetic are as undetectable as a dog whistle to those of us who possess two X chromosomes. Could it be that a metallic can carries, for your average heterosexual male, the ghastly connotations of silver lamé-clad drag queens?) Over at the Dr Pepper 10 Facebook page, they’ve posted “10 Man’Ments” to police the behavior of macho men on Facebook, which apparently “has a way of making even the boldest guys act like gossiping schoolgirls.” We’ll post those ridiculous tips — which include the exhortation not to use the abbreviation “OMG” or “post furry animal videos” — after the jump, in case you didn’t want to go to the trouble of “liking” the page to get a good, bitter laugh. Guys, let us know how you feel about being condescended to in the comments!
[Image via Tao of Cake]
Dr Pepper’s 10 Man’Ments
1. Thou shalt not OMG. If it’s not exploding, it’s not exciting.
2. Thou shalt not pucker up. Kissy faces are never manly.
3. Thou shalt not post pics of your outfit. Unless it’s battle armor and you have a giant sword and/or small bazooka.
4. Thou shalt not post furry animal videos. Exceptions made for beasts fighting to the death and bears destroying idyllic picnic scenes.
5. Thou shalt not make a “man-gagement” album. That is all.
6. Thou shalt not share your horoscope. Daily.
7. Thou shalt not Instagram your lunch. Real men each lunch, not tweet it.
8. Thou shalt not untag unflattering pics. We know you were there.
9. Thou shalt not end a comment with a =).
10. Thou shalt not make a Facbeook profile for your pet, baby and/or imaginary friend.
[via USA Today]