The Worst Consequences of Literary Teenage Romance

Teenagers have it rough when it comes to love. Their hormones are going haywire, their brains are still developing, and when they fall for one another, they fall hard. As our mothers always told us, boys are bad for you — and the more we read, the more we realize how true that can be. In literature, teen romance can be beautiful and eternal, but it can also be costly and crazy — or it can be all of that at once. Consider this our warning to all you teenage lovers out there: make sure your beloved is not a kidnapper, a psychopath, your brother, or a hundred-year-old vampire before you wear his letterman jacket. Or go for it. Up to you. Click through to see our list of some of the worst outcomes of young love in literature, and let us know which of your favorite tragic teen affairs (as there are oh so very many) we’ve missed in the comments.

Toby and Shelby (Citrus County, John Brandon): Child Kidnapping

As the back cover of this terrific novel muses, “teenage romance should be difficult, but not this difficult. Boys like Toby should cause trouble, but not this much.” When smart, achieving Shelby moves to rural Florida with her father and sister Kaley, she expects surfers and gets swamp rednecks. But she also gets mysterious, orphaned Toby, and briskly resolves to win him the way so many good girls have so many bad boys. Toby, mostly unaware of this, but trying in his own way to win Shelby’s affections while probing the limits of his own strangeness, goes decidedly overboard. Suffice it to say, 3-year-old Kaley goes missing, the police arrive, and Shelby is driven tearfully into his arms — but of course, for Toby, the victory is bittersweet, and he has to go check on something.

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Romance has always been condemned by the elders because of a fundamental reason: the jilting behavior of the human male or female could prove very costly indeed. It could at best result in excruciating pain and misery at the departure of the beloved or at worst it can lead to such traps of psychology as limerence, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia (and I mean the paranoid kind which is not something you'd like to have believe me!)...it is ideal to keep your mind preoccupied with the normal run of affairs such as events, people and ideas not to mention books, prayers and taking things normally as they come. Balance is very important and it is a beautiful thing indeed. Normality after all has no substitute. Why ruin your life for the sake of one girl or boy?

The tragedy of Twilight, in my opinion, is less that Edward is a vampire and Bella becomes one, and more that Bella is treated as a positive character instead of an example to teen girls of WHAT NOT TO DO. She makes herself completely subservient to him, even refusing to tell him when he's bruised her up like crazy on their wedding night because she doesn't want him to feel bad. If anybody ever needed a sassy gay friend, it's her. Of course, Edward would probably not allow her to spend time with him, and bribe his siblings to keep her away.

I KNEW the link at the end of Romeo and Juliet would be Sassy Gay Friend. Love him :)

the link to "sassy gay friend" absolutely made my morning. GOLD.

there are a few tragic lovestories in german literature. Nathan der Weise, Wahlverwandschaften, Die Leiden des jungen werther, Faust episode 1, Kabale und Liebe, das erdbeben von Chili. Johann Wolfgang Goethe is the author of the most of them... =)