MATT DRUDGE just posted a copy of British rapper M.I.A.’s backstage rider agreement on THE SMOKING GUN, and while we agree with STEREOGUM that nothing too salacious was revealed, we do want to poke fun of her over-the-top cheese obsession. You guys are being babies. We don’t care if she was eating for two, it’s still funny.
Side note: According to our sources, as a pregnant person she should not eat Blue cheese. We hope that cheese was intended for someone else.
After the jump Chow.com’s expert descriptions of M.I.A.’s cheesy demands, and our take on what each one says about her personality. Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever had a Cave-Aged Gruyere and if it tastes as special as it sounds.
English or French Blue Cheese: “Typically injected with mold to create distinctive veins of color and a tangy flavor, blue cheeses such as Roquefort and Gorgonzola tend to combine an earthy punch with a creamy texture.”
Our take: She’s down to earth
The proof: “I can’t really step into celebrities’ connection to the needy because I feel like I represent the needy.” [AOL]
Goat Cheese: “Delicate chèvre is typically made from goat’s milk, and, at its best, has a gentle, slightly acidic flavor.”
Our take: She’s not afraid of leaving a funny taste in your mouth
The proof: “I don’t give a shit about credibility because I know at the end of the day I’m an artist and I always push myself. I already have people like Timbaland, The Neptunes and Missy Eliott on my sound. They like it and they’re really inspired by it.” [Suicide Girls]
Cave-Aged Gruyere and Swiss
“Hard cheeses such as Emmentaler (often known simply as Swiss), Gruyère, Asiago, and Parmesan require high pressure and high temperatures to expel the whey and make the cheese drier.”
Our take: She doesn’t feel pressure to conform
The proof: “I find it kind of insulting that I can’t have any ideas on my own because I’m a female, or that people from undeveloped countries can’t have ideas of their own unless it’s backed up by someone who’s blond-haired and blue-eyed.” [Pitchfork]
“In the case of cheddar, even more whey is drained off, to prevent the cheese from becoming bitter.”
Our take: She’s still an optimist
The proof: “I think it’s actually possible to trickle change from the bottom up. The people at the top, they still have that old mentality, that idea of grabbing onto something that doesn’t work. But I think the future generation knows that, and there’s already change happening.” [Backbeat Online]