It’s getting colder, folks, which means we’ll be spending more and more time indoors. How do you like to spend the winter months? Watching TV? Playing games? Reading Flavorpill? Well, let’s combine all of three, shall we? Every now and then, our favorite fictional characters will use their fictional brilliance to invent some awesomely fictional games, and we’ve been itching to play ’em. The rules of these fake games, however, are often left somewhat unexplained, so why not piece together what we do know and add a few guidelines to create real, playable games? Gather some pals, order a pizza, and read on for the real life rules to 10 of pop culture’s most competitive creations. It’s game night!
Chardee MacDennis, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
4+ players, ages 21+
“It’s not just a game. It’s a war.” — Charlie Kelly
The recent It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode “Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games” lends us an entertainingly hazardous game of the same name. Naturally, there’s an unhealthy amount of alcohol, flesh wounds, and a high risk of salmonella poisoning, but what else would you expect from a Paddy’s Pub drinking game? We suggest that real-life Chardee MacDennis players tone it down a bit, but here’s how The Gang plays (with some bonus tips).
What You’ll Need:
Chardee MacDennis Wooden Game Board — $40, FX Shop (or just make your own out of cardboard, fellow cheapskates)
Personal game pieces — Action figures, Barbies, anything destroyable
Wine, beer, hard liquor
1 Pile of MIND Cards — Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry cards shuffled together. Make your own cards like the Always Sunny gang, or use Cranium cards (for Puzzles and Artistry) and Trivial Pursuit cards (for Trivia).
1 Pile of BODY Cards — Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance cards. They’re fun to make, so make your own. Example: “The Grape Gobble,” a Hungry Hungry Hippos-like game in which a player from each team collects as many rolling grapes in his or her mouth as possible. The collector of the most grapes in ten seconds wins the card.
1 Pile of SPIRIT Cards — Emotional Battery and Public Humiliation cards. For Emotional Battery, merely write “Emotional Battery” on several cards. If a player draws one, they must be emotional berated with “really personal stuff” that “cuts to the core” by the other team. If the player cries, their opponent gets the card. Make your own Public Humiliation cards with challenges that involve the outside world.
Shuffle several Chance cards from Monopoly into each pile.
A timer — $6, Amazon
Team photos (optional)
“Now what we did, is we took our favorite aspects of a bunch of different board games and we mashed them all together. Now the point of the game is really quite simple; it’s a race to the finish from level 1 to level 3.” — Dennis Reynolds
Ready? Split into two teams.
Things to remember:
— If anyone asks a question throughout the game, their team must drink for 5 seconds.
— When one team successfully answers or fulfills the duty on a card, the other team must drink.
— If a team member spills a drink, his or her team must chug the other team’s drinks.
— Nail the board down, or else an angry player will probably tip it over.
— There is a two-minute break between each level. Questions can be asked during this time.
— Cheating is tolerated, accepted, and a big part of the game, but if a team is caught cheating while both teams are at the same level, the opposing team advances to the next level. If the team at a higher level is caught cheating, the losing team jumps to the leading team’s level.
— If a player draws the “Chance: Go to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200” card, that player is put in a dog kennel (or a closet, bathroom, basement, attic, etc.). The only way out is to eat the unbaked ingredients of a cake.
— If the timer goes off while the teams are tied, the Black Card must be drawn. The card reads, “In the event of a tie, a winner must be chosen. There can be only one, and so it comes to this. Flip a coin.”
PRE-GAME: Wine and Cheese Reception
Begin with the “Ritual of Sportsmanship,” a two-minute wine and cheese reception to give the illusion of respect for your opponents. When the time is up, smash your wine glasses and do a Maori war dance to intimidate your rivals. Put 15 minutes on the “game clock,” which should be stopped for breaks and medical emergencies.
LEVEL 1 (MIND): Trivia, Puzzles, and Artistry
The alcohol consumed in Level 1 is wine.
Flip a coin to decide which team goes first. The first team must pick a card from the MIND pile, which is read to one of its team members. If he or she answers correctly, they get the card. If not, the other team has a chance to answer and steal the card.
Trivia Card Example:
-Question: What is the greatest band in the world?
Artistry Card Example:
ALL PLAY: The artist from your team must draw the clue from the card on your teammate’s back. The teammate must guess the clue solely on feel.
Once a team collects three MIND Cards in Level 1, they can advance to Level 2. The other team must remain until they collect three cards.
LEVEL 2 (BODY): Physical Challenge, Pain, and Endurance
The alcohol consumed in Level 2 is beer.
From this level forward, no cursing is allowed. Instead, try “Jeezum crow,” “Sheets,” or “Mother-father.” A cursing team must drink for 5 seconds.
Pain and Endurance Card Example:
Throw darts at a player’s hand. If he or she flinches, the other team wins the card… Don’t do that, we’re not all Dennis Reynolds.
Once a team collects two BODY Cards in Level 2, they can advance to Level 3. The other team must remain until they collect two cards.
LEVEL 3 (SPIRIT): Emotional Battery and Public Humiliation
The alcohol consumed in Level 3 is hard liquor.
Public Humiliation Card Example:
ALL PLAY: Go outside and find a stranger who will come to a hurricane bunker underneath your bar. The first person to return with someone to repopulate the race gets the card.
The first team to collect two SPIRIT Cards in Level 3 wins the game.
Winners get to destroy the losing team’s game pieces.