Bouncing back from the alleged “Gay Fish” charges, Kanye West, in a valiant display of unrelenting humility, stars alongside himself in his new video for “Paranoid.” Rihanna appears to be an uncredited extra. The video begins with a dozen flickering mirages of a smoldering Kanye, doing his best Robert Pattinson-meeting-a-mirror impression. “Why are you so paranoid? Don’t be so paranoid,” sings Kanye, as Rihanna wakes up in bed, drives a car nervously, and prances around in black lingerie. This is the exact scenario of the Chris Brown scandal, but without Chris brown. And depending on how you look at it, this may or may not be more frightening.
Replacing Chris “I’ma beat yo ass” Brown is the undeniably goofy Kanye, who prompted Gawker a day earlier to wonder, “Will Kanye and Rihanna be the Next Jay-Z?” The answer is no. Kanye only dates himself. That’s what Amber Rose, his ex (and comfortably promiscuous) model girlfriend didn’t understand when she tried to tame the wild West. If, however, Kanye were to date Rihanna, we must brace ourselves — or more appropriately, our eyes. After her nude pix leaked, Rihanna may have grown too comfortable prancing around in lingerie, but Kayne has yet to bask in the naked limelight. Could self-released nude photos be in the works? What do you think they would look like in auto-tune?
Editor’s note: Blarg. The video has been taken down. We’ll repost if and when it resurfaces.
Update: It’s back. And Kanye’s hurt that someone leaked the “fake” version before.