What We Learned from Barbara Walters’ ‘Most Fascinating People’ Special

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Last night Barbara Walters’ annual Most Fascinating People special aired, and as we previously mentioned, it featured a list of celebrities who for the most part seemed a bit dated. The most surprising moment of the evening came when Walters’ revealed Steve Jobs as her pick for the most fascinating person of the year — but only because it had always been her policy to only feature the living. (Walters explained that, taking a note from Jobs himself, she decided that “rules were made to be broken.”) Because we don’t expect you to sit through a whopping hour and a half with Katy Perry and the Kardashian clan, we’ve collected some of the most interesting tidbits from the evening for you after the jump; if you find you need a palate cleanser after, may we suggest Flavorpill’s Most Fascinating People of 2011?

1. Eric Stonestreet’s “Fizbo” the clown character that we’ve seen on Modern Family comes from his own childhood in the Midwest.

2. In 1982, Simon Cowell appeared on Top of the Pops dressed in a dog costume and made some horrible puns.

3. This is what Cowell normally has for breakfast: hot water with lemon, fresh orange juice, fresh papaya juice, loads of vitamins, toast, a spinach smoothie (made from spinach, bananas, and lemon), and a blueberry smoothie (because he heard that it’s good for you).

4. Khloe Kardashian is totally OK with the fact that she and her sisters are only famous for being famous: “Like none of us think we have talent. None of us think we could sing or act or dance.” What she’s not OK with? Being called “Shrek” and “an ogre” on the Internet.

5. After some tears, Kris Jenner saw the business opportunity in Kim’s sex tape. “It was devastating for the whole family,” she says. “You cry yourself to sleep for a few nights, then you hire a really good attorney and try to make something better happen.”

6. Hypothetically speaking, Herman Cain would like to be the Secretary of Defense: “Because if I could influence redoing our military the way it should be, that would be a task I would consider undertaking.” He later sang a verse of “He Looked Beyond My Faults” for Walters.

7. Katy Perry wasn’t allowed to watch people kiss on TV as a child.

8. Perry’s coy response when Walters asked if she’s “totally straight”: “I don’t know if I’m totally anything.”

9. Katy Perry’s mom, Mary Hudson (pictured above), once went on a date with Jimi Hendrix.

10. Derek Jeeter does not believe in the old “win or lose” adage. “Well, I think how you play the game is important, but for me it’s whether you win or lose,” he says. “In my mind, if you don’t win then it’s a failure.” He’d also like to own a baseball team one day, and would not confirm whether or not he’s still seeing Minka Kelly.

11. If Donald Trump’s hair is a wig, then it’s a really well-secured one, because Walters gave it a serious tug.

12. While Trump still isn’t convinced that Obama was born in the US, he says that “right now it’s not important to me.”