Trailer Park: Coming Soon — Next Summer’s Blockbusters!

Welcome to “Trailer Park,” our regular Friday feature where we collect the week’s new trailers all in one place and do a little “judging a book by its cover,” ranking them from worst to best and taking our best guess at what they may be hiding. This week’s eleven trailers include several peeks at next summer’s blockbusters, which are presumably rolling out in front of the big holiday releases. But there are some smaller (and stranger) titles hiding in there as well; check ’em all out after the jump.

Dracula 3D

You guys, I don’t even know where to start with this one. Watching this NSFW trailer for legendary giallo director Dario Argento’s 3D take on Nosferatu is an utterly befuddling experience — it leaves so many questions! Is this thing supposed to be serious, or is it some sort of jokey spoof trailer? Is that really a vampire who hisses at his victims? Are those 19th century fake boobs? And, most importantly, who was this trailer intended for? The incomplete visual effects (and insistent “visual effects work in progress” subtitles) would indicated this was some sort of “sizzle reel,” showcasing how awesome the movie will be for potential investors/distributors. Wonder how that went!