5 Headlines from the Last 24 Hours That Shouldn’t Be Funny But Are

1. Historicaltweets.com Re-imagines Famous Moments through Tweets [via Time]
Why this IS funny: “Lassie: Idiot child fell down the mine shaft again. That makes 3 times in one week.”
Why this ISN’T funny: Lassie hated his job 😦

2. Bret Michaels injured at the Tony Awards [via People]
Why this IS funny: The curtain for the “Rock of Ages” set at the Tonys nearly decapitated Bret Michaels!!!
Why this ISN’T funny: The curtain for the Rock of Ages set at the Tonys nearly decapitated Bret Michaels.

3. Coin Marks Henry VIII’s Anniversary [via BBC]
Why this IS funny: Hey, wasn’t that the super fat monarch who had six wives…
Why this ISN’T funny: …and had two of them decapitated?

4. Inmate’s 55 Hour Erection Agony [via NYP]
Why this IS funny: Who ever thought this could be a problem?
Why this ISN’T funny: It’s just impressive. Two full days is incredible.

5. Hot Dogs Used to Put Foreign Guest at Ease [via NYT]
Why this IS funny: Teddy Roosevelt to Queen Elizabeth: “Very simple. Push it into your mouth and keep pushing it until it is all gone.”
Why this ISN’T funny: “That’s what she said.” These jokes aren’t funny anymore.