Ranking Musicians by How Much They Look Like Jesus

Musicians have always loved the Jesus look, mainly because it obviates the need to cut your hair and shave — which, if you’re more interested in sex, drugs, and/or rock ‘n’ roll than practicalities, is just the ticket. But while plenty of musicians over the years have gone for the messianic style, only a few have pulled it off with panache, and this got us thinking — who’s the most convincing Jesus-alike in music? In celebration of Christ’s birthday, we’ve attempted to determine just that. We started out with field of ten contenders, and we’re ranking them from bottom to top in terms of their Jesus Quotient. Read on to find out who’s the messiah and who’s just a very naughty boy. (Disclaimer: this is all a bit of fun, so please don’t take it all too seriously/take offense/condemn us to eternal damnation.)


Up until last week, this “Hasidic rapper” would have been a contender. But he’s an early scratching now that the beard’s gone. Sorry, Matthew Miller, no JQ for you.

Jesus Quotient (JQ): Disqualified