Trailer Park: Prequels, Sequels… and Salmon

Welcome to “Trailer Park,” our regular Friday feature where we collect the week’s new trailers all in one place and do a little “judging a book by its cover,” ranking them from worst to best and taking our best guess at what they may be hiding. This week’s seven trailers include several big-franchise sequels and (sort of) prequels (we think); check ‘em all out after the jump.

Wrath of the Titans

Hey, remember that Clash of the Titans remake last year that nobody liked? Well, it somehow grossed nearly $500 million worldwide, which says something about the human race we’d rather not contemplate, so here’s your altogether unwanted sequel, and (surprise!) it looks just awful. Two thoughts: Have we reached the saturation point yet on the use of Marilyn Manson’s “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” in trailers? It’s like the “Bad to the Bone” of wannabe emo in movie promotion. And secondly, we’ve got a feeling that just as the first Titans is primarily remembered for its bad 3D, the second will mostly be recalled for Sam Worthington’s Billy Ray Cyrus hair.