January is upon us, and we film fans know what that means: nothing good. The first month of the year is traditionally the dumping ground for Hollywood studios, the month in which they unload the films that aren’t quality enough for the Oscar-courting fall, but not commercial enough for the lucrative holiday, spring, and summer seasons. January is where bad movies go to die, and where studios hope we won’t notice them. They’re usually right; viewers either tend to catch up on the prestige pictures that are going into wider release, or just stay at home and watch football. But our nation’s film critics, fat and happy after the holiday feast of smart, highbrow entertainment, are often subjected to the sugar crash of January dogs, and as a result, their reviews often pack a little bit of extra vitriol. After the jump, we’ve assembled the ten worst movies released in the month of January — according to the reliable aggregators at Rotten Tomatoes — along with a few choice words from the scribes who sat through them.
RELEASE DATE: January 5, 2007
IN BRIEF: Hey, remember Se7en? How’s about another serial killer movie with a numerical title and that number cleverly made a part of said title, but for Christians? That was the idea behind this 2007 release from Fox’s short-lived “FoxFaith” subsidiary, which featured Buffy co-star Marc Blucas as a theology student tracking the “Riddle Killer,” who turns out to be (spoiler!) HIMSELF. And yes, most of the poor souls who sat through Thr3e delighted in pointing out that the script (from premise to title to twist) is astonishingly similar to Donald Kaufman’s screenplay The 3 in Adaptation.
THE CRITICS RAVE: “Suspenselessly directed by Robby Henson, Thr3e commits the eighth deadly sin – boredom” (Lou Lumenick, New York Post); “Ultimately Thr3e, for all its philosophizing, is little more than a standard serial-killer movie with pretensions” (Frank Scheck, Hollywood Reporter); “Thr3e needs help with more than spelling” (Stephen Hunter, Washington Post)