Oh Rolling Stone, You Are So Irrelevant

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When we sent Flavorpill’s music guru ANDREW PHILLIPS the link to Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Singers of All Time his initial response: “It’s like they stopped taking promo CDs in 1992. I mean, this list has a lot of good people, but it has, what, one, two things from the last 25 years? Most of this list could have come out in their 1976 edition. And Nirvana doesn’t count as throwing the kids a bone anymore.”

We’re also mad that there are only TWO WOMEN in the entire top 20 — even if ARETHA FRANKLIN did score the number one slot. While we love Aretha, it begs the question: is she tops just because you’re scared of her?

After the jump find the list [thank you, Stereogum!] that has everyone around here so hot and bothered along with a few of our edits.

100 Mary J. Blige 99 Steven Tyler 98 Stevie Nicks 97 Joe Cocker 96 B.B. King 95 Patti LaBelle 94 Karen Carpenter 93 Annie Lennox 92 Morrissey 91 Levon Helm 90 The Everly Brothers 89 Solomon Burke 88 Willie Nelson 87 Don Henley 86 Art Garfunkel 85 Sam Moore 84 Darlene Love 83 Patti Smith 82 Tom Waits 81 John Lee Hooker 80 Frankie Valli 79 Mariah Carey 78 Sly Stone 77 Merle Haggard 76 Steve Perry 75 Iggy Pop 74 James Taylor 73 Dolly Parton 72 John Fogerty 71 Toots Hibbert 70 Gregg Allman 69 Ronnie Spector 68 Wilson Pickett 67 Jerry Lee Lewis 66 Thom Yorke 65 David Ruffin 64 Axl Rose 63 Celine Dion 62 Lou Reed 61 Roger Daltrey 60 Björk 59 Rod Stewart 58 Christina Aguilera 57 Eric Bourdon 56 Mavis Staples 55 Paul Rodgers 54 Luther Vandross 53 Muddy Waters 52 Brian Wilson 51 Gladys Knight 50 Bonnie Raitt 49 Donny Hathaway 48 Buddy Holly 47 Jim Morrison 46 Patsy Cline 45 Kurt Cobain 44 Bobby “Blue” Bland 43 George Jones 42 Joni Mitchell 41 Chuck Berry 40 Curtis Mayfield 39 Jeff Buckley 38 Elton John 37 Neil Young 36 Bruce Springsteen 35 Dusty Springfield 34 Whitney Houston 33 Steve Winwood 32 Bono 31 Howlin’ Wolf 30 Prince 29 Nina Simone 28 Janis Joplin 27 Hank Williams 26 Jackie Wilson 25 Michael Jackson 24 Van Morrison 23 David Bowie 22 Etta James 21 Johnny Cash 20 Smokey Robinson 19 Bob Marley 18 Freddie Mercury 17 Tina Turner 16 Mick Jagger 15 Robert Plant 14 Al Green 13 Roy Orbison 12 Little Richard 11 Paul McCartney 10 James Brown 09 Stevie Wonder 08 Otis Redding 07 Bob Dylan 06 Marvin Gaye 05 John Lennon 04 Sam Cooke 03 Elvis Presley 02 Ray Charles 01 Aretha Franklin

Without even going into the bizarre ranking system (LOU REED > DOLLY PARTON?), there are some big names that you missed — and to keep things comfortable for you, none are from the past decade: ELLA FITZGERALD, BILLIE HOLIDAY, EDITH PIAF, SARAH VAUGHAN, BARRY WHITE, TONY BENNETT, FRANK SINATRA, PAUL SIMON, CHRIS CORNELL, DAVID BYRNE, NEIL DIAMOND, EDDIE VEDDER, OZZY OSBOURNE, BRUCE DICKINSON, BILLY CORGAN, ALANIS MORRISETTE, CARLY SIMON, and MEAT LOAF.

But what we’re more interested is what current singers (if any) deserve to make the cut. Leave your nominations in the comments below.