Flavorwire

Do you love licking lollipops? Or rather, do you love singing about getting girls to lick your lollipop? Well, now is your chance to be the gold-toothed auto-tuner himself — Lil Wayne! …and perform at my son’s birthday gala! When I say “please let me know your rap experience,” I actually mean, “Do you you own an auto-tune?” Oh yeah, MY SON IS BLIND. He won’t be able to tell the difference. Whether you are a street-hustlin’ Rabbi or a wise-crackin’ white boy who is superb at “grunting and mumbling a lot,” consider yourself hired! You can even be really old. I am a good mother. I AM A GOOD MOTHER. Young money baby 4 lyfe.