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Craigslist Gem: Lil Wayne Wanted for Son’s Birthday

Do you love licking lollipops? Or rather, do you love singing about getting girls to lick your lollipop? Well, now is your chance to be the gold-toothed auto-tuner himself — Lil Wayne! …and perform at my son’s birthday gala! When I say “please let me know your rap experience,” I actually mean, “Do you you own an auto-tune?” Oh yeah, MY SON IS BLIND. He won’t be able to tell the difference. Whether you are a street-hustlin’ Rabbi or a wise-crackin’ white boy who is superb at “grunting and mumbling a lot,” consider yourself hired! You can even be really old. I am a good mother. I AM A GOOD MOTHER. Young money baby 4 lyfe.

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