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Glowing Netflix Reviews of Notoriously Terrible Movies

There are certain movies that we, as a culture, have outright rejected. Declaring an unironic love for Battlefield Earth or Gigli is social suicide in some circles — and no one in their right mind would admit to enjoying the hugely unsuccessful Paris Hilton vehicle The Hottie and the Nottie. And yet, because Netflix (especially in its streaming form) provides an endless supply of time-wasting media without forcing users to submit to the glare of a snobby video rental store clerk, it ends up exposing viewers to movies they wouldn’t consider watching otherwise. The site’s anonymous reviews prove that there is no such thing as a universally reviled film. After the jump, we’ve collected a handful of glowing Netflix defenses of notoriously awful flicks — some with odd political or moral agendas, some puzzling, some plain hilarious, and a few sarcastic but brilliant.

Battlefield Earth

Tomatometer rating: 2%

“This is the best film ever if you are inclined to develop your own theology. Start with a movie that inspires John Travolta to underwrite and take a lead role in it and the next thing you know he is tithing at your church. It is of no consequence that his character is so over the top it could have been portrayed by a Muppet. Its a shame Hubbard beat me to it. I had this whole thing worked out how the universe was ejected from a pan-dimensional Jello® mold but the concept seems passé amid the precepts of Scientology.”

“There are some very interesting questions that one can ask themselves: what really is out there in space? What is God? There has been so many gods before that claimed to be the one and only one other than the ones (Allah, Ram, Jesus) that mankind now serve. Has all the old Gods (Zeus, Istar, Hades, Baal, etc.) died? No I think not, just forgotten and replaced by the updated model. History proves that all of our new gods have various attributes of the old ones.”