The 30 Best Kiss-Offs in Musical History

Face it, we all like a good lyrical smackdown, and the art of the kiss-off line (or, indeed, entire kiss-off song) is one of the most time-honored and enduring in music. Good kiss-offs can take many forms — they can be subtle and sarcastic, or blunt and brutal, or just flat-out hilarious. Either way, there have been many, many good ones committed to tape over the years, and we’ve always had an ear for a biting turn of phrase — so we’re counting down 30 of the best after the jump. As ever, we’re open to suggestions, so let us know your favorites!

30. Ween — “Piss Up a Rope”

The pitch-perfect country satire of 12 Golden Country Greats reached its zenith with “Piss Up a Rope.” The glory of this song is that it could quite happily be a genuine country song (in the vein of similar gems like Ray Stevens’ “Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I’m Kissing You Goodbye”), albeit one full of Gene ‘n’ Deen’s, um, unique brand of humor.

Key lines: “For the last six months I’ve been packing your bag/ You can wash my balls with a warm wet rag/ ‘Til my balls feel smooth, and soft like silk/ I’m sick of your mouth and your 2% milk”