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Dear Costume Department: ‘The Dictator’

If you didn’t watch the red carpet coverage of the Oscars this year — and didn’t, for the first time, feel a little bit sorry for Ryan Seacrest — then yes, we suppose it’s possible that you haven’t gotten wind of Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest undertaking, The Dictator. But odds are that you’ve seen this spectacle coming; let’s just say that the film’s protagonist, Admiral General Shabazz Aladeen, is a man who makes the late Muammar Gaddafi’s sartorial choices look positively understated. With that in mind, here’s what we hope the leader of the Republic of Wadiya is wearing, on top of the state-issued white waistcoat and aggressive gold epaulettes.

This (huge) signet ring from Kyle Hopkins reiterates the fact that he has a heart of gold.

Supporting actresses, NBA centers, and masters of oppression all need loud shield sunglasses — like these from 3.1 Phillip Lim — to save themselves from the paparazzi.

For travel, a world leader requires something comfy to go with that fully reclining private-jet seat. Let’s call these Acne pants dress sweats.

These metallic Dieppa Restrepo loafers really sell the fact that he doesn’t have to work too hard to keep his countrymen down.

What’s flashier that this big, gold Nikon watch? Only the crisp white glove it cozies up to.

Ultimate accessory: that massive beard. And just because he’s tough doesn’t mean his facial hair shouldn’t be soft, thanks to Wild Man beard conditioner.

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