The 10 Most Endearingly Ridiculous Hair Metal Bands Ever

In among the slew of albums out this week, we were rather surprised to see one bearing the name LA Guns. We’ll be honest and admit that we assumed these Los Angeles hair metal stalwarts had broken up years ago, but no, they’re still going strong (although they appear to have splintered into two parallel versions of themselves, a long and complicated story that’s related at Wikipedia for anyone interested). Anyway, for all that mid-’80s LA metal was undeniably awful and silly, there was something rather endearing about its sheer, unabashed absurdity — as Flavorwire hero Nicky Wire once said, “You should never be afraid to look like a fool.” As such, we’ve always had a rather guilty soft spot for some of these bands, and thus we’ve collated a list of 10 gloriously absurd acts from the genre’s heyday. (And trust us, this is one feature you have to read until the end. Not that you wouldn’t anyway. But still. Really.)

Warrant

Yes, “Cherry Pie” was ludicrously overplayed and, y’know, ludicrous in general. But there was something kinda likeable about Warrant — they didn’t appear to take themselves overly seriously (we still giggle about the bit in the “Cherry Pie” video where the father walks in), and we were genuinely sad to hear of the death of singer Jani Lane last year, apparently from alcohol poisoning.

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W.A.S.P. never actually stood for anything. they added the periods and all-caps spelling just to make their logo stand out. it wasn't until a few years on in their career that Blackie started saying that it stood for "We Are Sexual Perverts", although he's also said it stands for "We Ain't Sure, Pal" among a few others. it's kind of a backronym, even though Blackie can't even come up with same meaning twice. the truth of the matter is that it was one of their very early members (Rik Fox, i believe) who actually came up with the name. he was at Blackie's house and either saw a wasp's nest, or was stung by a wasp (i can't remember which, but it's fairly easy to Google it), and thought the name "Wasp" sounded cool. he told Blackie, who agreed and who then told everyone else the band's new name was Wasp. as is common with Blackie Lawless's habit of taking credit for things he didn't actually do, he eventually came up with the whole "We Are Sexual Predators" thing (long after Rik Fox quit/was fired), among many other conflicting stories he's told about the band name. several of WASP's early band members have confirmed that the name didn't actually stand for anything, that Blackie did NOT come up with it, and that the periods and all-caps was simply to make the logo stand out.

Absurd hair metal video moments? Need i remind you of Damn Yankees' "High Enough"? In the video, at 3:12, Ted Nugent rocks so hard he deflects bullets

Aww. How could you let a little thing like being fictional get in the way of Spinal Tap being on this list? Take the list up to 11, I say.

I didn't know Mick Mars moonlighted for Nitro.

@ Larry Anvil were/are not a hair metal band, they were on of early speed/thrash metal bands.

Cinderella was only a hair metal band for their first and maybe second albums. They became a blues metal band shortly thereafter. And Europe predates hair metal by several years, although they did jump on the bandwagon.

Aw, I was really hoping that Enuff Z'Nuff would be listed. I know they were pretty poppy--coming in at the end of the hair metal era as they did--but I still love "New Thing" every bit as much as I did twenty-three years ago.

What does the author mean by this: "Reading back over the history of similar hair metal also-rans, it’s interesting how many blame their decline on the rise of grunge (rather suggesting a lack of understanding of the principle of cause and effect, eh?)." I understand the grunge thing (just read the MTV bio), but what is the cause and effect in terms of these bands' fall from popularity?

Wasp did a cover of "The Real Me" (originally by the Who) which was actually... epic. If it hadn't been Wasp, it would have been huge.

Hanoi Rocks broke up because their drummer Razzle was killed in a car accident. The driver? Vince Neil.

How is Anvil not on this list - did you see the documentary anvil the story of anvil?

That guy from Nitro missed a trick by not having that thing customised to look like two sets of spread legs.

Nitro guy's hair is GLORIOUS!!! Axl & Nikki eat your hearts out!

Stuart - haha yes indeed... but I just *had* to include that "Freight Train" video because of the bit with the guitar!

Nitro would be my top pick as well, but I wouldn't have gone with "Night Train" Have you not heard "O.F.R. (Out-Fucking-Rageous)"? That is the MOST over-the-top ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Okay, obviously you're going to get a lot of people calling you out on omissions, but how could you leave out gay metal band Pink Steel? Pinksteel.com if you need a reminder. They put the "dick" in "endearingly ridiculous."