The Books That Make Guys Swoon

A couple weeks ago we posted about the books that might make you undateable — at least in the eyes of those who might, perhaps, yes, judge your romantic appeal based on the book you’re reading. (Sorry, but this is a thing that happens.) We were inspired by a Paris Review blog post about the books guys should read to attract girls. But what about the inverse? What kind of books might make a girl appealing to guys? Culled from a number of anecdotal conversations with young men that read, collated by us, here’s a sampling of books the ladies might consider sticking their noses into if they’re hoping to catch that special literary fly guy’s eye on the subway, at the bus station, in the library or around the copier room.

Portnoy’s Complaint

Yes, it may make us look douchey to you if we read it, but that’s the point: he’s a male writer, inserting his male gaze, blah blah blah. To see a smart, strong woman enjoying Roth, well, there’s a reversal. Bonus points for something not as obvious, like: Letting Go, The Great American Novel (baseball); Indignation (college and blowjobs); or The Plot Against America (alternate history). And for Roth’s Kafkaesque attempt at a female perspective, try The Breast. We’d be impressed with The Breast. Warning: these guidelines don’t apply to Updike. Not as cool.

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Philip Roth's dirty old man stuff is not cool (and since he's an old man, anything dirty from him now counts). Maybe American Pastoral, but that's about it. Raymond Carver is the opposite of cool. Nicholson Baker stinks of the Clinton-Lewinsky stuff. Only The Mezzanine, please (for this list). Someone mentioned A Fan's Notes, above. Great pick. How about something truly astonishing, like Michael Herr's Dispatches? Otherwise, you have some nifty ideas. Short story collections? Tres cool. Even past cool; just a good idea, like reading an album. How about someone who's not totally white (or Japanese)? Nothing foxier than a white chick reading James Baldwin.

I normally like these lists, but this one annoyed me. 8 out of 13 either imply or directly state that if it's a mainstream book it cannot be tolerable, let alone swoon-worthy. How absurd! How pretentious! How hipster! Really, if a guy can't accept that many main-stream things are popular for a reason then he's probably an egotistical, self-important, pompous ass that I'd rather not attract in the first place.

pfft! i'd rather end up a cat lady than read books that might make men swoon. i'll stick to books that make ME swoon, a-thank you.

Oh dear. Warning to guys, if I am ostentatiously reading *Bechdel* on the subway, you are not the gender I'm trying to attract. Also, curious--does Neal Stephenson not work anymore? Too mainstream?

Portnoy's Complaint is one of my favorite books. How is it possible that I don't have a boyfriend?

For me any girl that reads Bukowski is instantly like wow

Because that's why you read (or likely just carry) a particular book, people think it's cool. This site risks becoming a how-to for aspiring wankers.

"A Fan's Notes" by Fred Exley. A guy's book for sure.

Nice try stereotyping, Vanderleun, but the writer is a straight guy with a girlfriend. I guess you don't have to be gay to have diverse taste in books.

Reading a book with the sole intention of making a man swoon makes me gag. I'm on NYC pretentiousness overload. Need some red blood stat!

I am a man that reads and is hot, and I'd agree with all of these except Roth books. In my view Roth isn't cool to men or to women. And I have defoinitely never seen a woman reading Portnoy but maybe that's what would make it attractive to see

Dear Tender Daniel, The sheer fact that you led the list with a wankoff classic and somehow failed to include a single Tom Clancy book tells me t hat the stealth headline of this odd list is "The Books That Make Gay Hipster Guys Swoon." (Use of swoon is a dead give away. PS: Wash that pocket hanky from time to time, okay?)

What was the meaning of this strange, inscrutable list? (Still, love Bechdel).