A few weeks back, we took a moment to lament the absence of several stars who, for whatever reason, had opted to retire from the silver screen. But what of the inverse? Who are the stars we’d like to encourage to go ahead and enjoy a life of leisure, spending time with their families and their money, rather than continuing to flaunt their tired wares in the local multiplex? It’s a question that, for us, was brought on by this week’s release of The Expendables 2, wherein Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Norris, et. al. get into their Rascals and make yet another play for ’80s action movie nostalgia. After the jump, some thoughts on those fellows, and a few more film stars who are due to retire.
We like to imagine that in some other universe, Sylvester Stallone leveraged the success of Rocky into something more interesting than a series of increasingly silly sequels and utterly inane action movies, instead cultivating the easy-to-overlook acting skill (don’t forget, the guy got a Best Actor nomination for Rocky) that made his work in CopLand such a revelation. But in the years following that film — which was supposed to be his Travolta-in-Pulp-Fiction comeback project — he appeared in a series of duds. Then, in ’06, revelation: hop a ride on the nostalgia bus! First he returned to Rocky, then to Rambo, and then he started gathering up other (let’s call a spade a spade) has-beens and C-listers for these Expendable films. Enough already, Sly. You’re a smarter guy than this, and the throwback gravy train is only gonna run for so long.