Flavorwire

Inspired by the eyebrow-raising news that Sesame Street will parody Mad Men in its upcoming 40th anniversary season, we’ve decided to step in and do a little casting this morning. While Sesame Workshop’s VP of Education and Research Dr. Rosemarie Truglio spoke of two levels and playing off the show’s title, *our version would stick to the original and be a lot more literal. Because the preschool set needs more martinis.

Bert and Ernie: Harry Crane and Ken Gosgrove

Kind-of-lame, joined-at-the-hip best friends who often provide interesting background banter.

Big Bird: Betty Draper

Spends most of the day surrounded by kids. Never strays too far from the nest. Cloaks low-level depression with forced, manic cheer.

Count von Count: Salvatore Romano

The Count has never been specifically labeled as a vampire…

Fozzie Bear: Freddy Rumsen

Remember that episode last season where Rumsen played Mozart on his zipper? Wocka wocka wocka.

Grover: Pete Campbell

Frequently annoys his superiors. Believes that he’s cute and multi-talented.

Kermit the Frog: Roger Sterling

A long-suffering company frontman who has an unfortunate thing for girly girls.

Miss Piggy: Joan Holloway

Mean, manipulative, bossy, and fabulous. Likes diamonds and being the center of attention. Hides insecurity with false bravado.

Oscar the Grouch: Don Draper

Perpetually grumpy. Tends to snarl when people invade his personal space and hates being woken from naps. Has a rocky relationship with his significant other.

Prairie Dawn: Peggy Olson

Smart, detail-oriented, and a gifted writer with big career aspirations. A fan of bows.

Season 3 of Mad Men debuts on August 16th on AMC.

* A note to purists: Our version also contains Muppets who do not normally appear on Sesame Street. IE, Kermit, Miss Piggy and Fozzie. It was more fun this way.