Housecleaning with Andy Warhol: What Will They Find?

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The AP reports an amusing anecdote on Andy Warhol’s forgotten archives, 610 boxes of junk and treasure currently being sorted by the Warhol Foundation in Pittsburgh. So far, the findings have bordered on the pedestrian (taxi cabs receipts), the revolting (old Campbell’s soup, a piece of crusty wedding cake), and the thrilling (a nude Jackie O photo, $17,000 in cash). After the jump, we take bets on what else the mother lode will reveal.

Each “time capsule” is a simple cardboard box, filled with ephemera then taped shut and shipped to Warhol’s storage space in Jersey. Archivist Matt Wribican, who is overseeing the project and has been combing through Andy’s knicknacks since 1991, says that each one holds an an average of 400 items, some with as many as 1,200. His personal favorites are a “mummified human foot belonging to an ancient Egyptian; a Ramones’ 45 record signed by the punk rock band’s lead singer Joey Ramone; or the orange nutbread sent to Warhol by one of his Pittsburgh-area cousins with a note telling him to enjoy it with a cup of coffee.”

Our prognostications, as follows:

One red wig: As an aesthete of the highest order, Andy quickly realized that a fake, brassy gingertop suits no one, and platinum was a better complement to his deathly pale complexion.

Lobster claws, eggs, and an open bottle of Norell II: Olfactory souvenirs from that Polaroid shoot. Unpleasant sensations are so edgy.

Coke bottle: Intact with DNA from Lou Reed‘s saliva.

Three one-liter Ziploc bags of high-grade amphetamine: Confiscated from dear old Edie. Not that it helped.

Bullet from a .22 pistol: Keep your enemies close, and your enemies’ weaponry closer.

Matchbooks from Area, The Dom, and Electric Circus: Complete with the telephone number of Liza Minelli, scribbled in mascara.

Dogeared first-draft copy of Madonna’s SEX: A party favor from the 1985 nuptials of Sean Penn and the Material Girl.

Plastic crucifix: Warhola was a practicing Byzantine Catholic, and someone had to influence Serrano.

An algorithm for a revolutionary, real-time account of minute everyday activities broadcast across the world: Seriously, he could have out-Twittered Shaq.

Judge the accuracy of our predictions starting in September, when the archivists will begin blogging their “Object of the Week,” and add your best guesses in the comments.