[Insert Blood-Sucking Related Twilight Headline Here]

Eagerly awaited teen-vamp romance Twilight finally comes out today, which means it’s kind of an early Christmas for two types of people: fourteen-year-old girls with a thing for pasty dudes and pun-loving movie critics.

It’s convenient that the movie has been getting pretty pale reviews (HA get it?), because we get tons of cheesy vampire word-play (plus gratuitous Robert Pattinson photos) to share with you over lunch. Enjoy.

‘Twilight’ to suck up buckets of blood…and big bucks [Hollywood Insider]

Twilight: Love bites [Toronto Star]

‘Twilight’ barely gets the blood flowing [USA Today]

Action in ‘Twilight’ has no fangs: Twilight’ sucks all the suspense and action out of a vampire’s romance with a teen girl [Baltimore Sun]

‘Twilight’ vampires suck (No, they RULE) | 2 stars (No, 3 stars) [Kansas City Times]

‘Twilight’ adaptation lacks bite
[Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

“Twilight” a campy vampire romance with no bite
[Reuters]

Did we miss any? Let us know.