Stereotyping You By Your Favorite Album of 2012

It’s that wonderful time of the year… when we get to apply rampant stereotypes to our readership, based on their favorite records! Yes, our traditional Flavorpill end-of-year stereotyping exercise is back — we’ve collected 50 albums that keep appearing on various best-of lists around the Internet, along with the sort of people who like said albums. As ever, our obligatory disclaimer: this is a lighthearted exercise, so don’t get all pissy about it — and, yes, our stereotype is on here, and it fits perfectly. Go on, see if you can guess which one it is.

Death Grips — No Love Deep Web
Scary-eyed dudes who conduct intense discussions about the nature of state power with the same casual ease as college bros talk about football.

Julia Holter — Ekstasis
Fey singers who studied music all through high school and who harbor a quiet but deeply-held contempt for people in bands who can only play three chords on guitar.

Poliça — Give You The Ghost
Thirtysomethings who own This Life on DVD and didn’t like Portishead’s Third at all.

Titus Andronicus — Local Business
Sweaty dudes who have to leave early to catch the PATH train home.

Sleigh Bells — Reign of Terror
Interns with part-time jobs at American Apparel.

The Vaccines — The Vaccines Come of Age
People who refer to band members as “the lads.”

Grimes — Visions
Girls who update their Tumblr several times an hour.

Chromatics — Kill for Love
People considering moving from Brooklyn to Portland, Orgeon.

Lower Dens — Nootropics
Baltimoreans who roll their eyes when you mention Beach House.

Beach House — Bloom
Sad-faced girls who can never find quite what they’re looking for at Beacon’s Closet.

Ty Segall — Slaughterhouse
Bros who read Pitchfork.

Japandroids — Celebration Rock
Bros who read Spin.

Orbital — Wonky
Slightly forlorn old ravers confronting both their mid-30s and the fact that pills just aren’t ever gonna be as good as they were in the ’90s.

Swans — The Seer
Men who have lived on the Lower East Side for two decades and have never, ever smiled.


Liars — WIXIW
Men who used to be very, very good at difficult video games.

Bruce Springsteen — Wrecking Ball
Jann Wenner.

DJ Rashad — Teklife Vol. 1 — Welcome to the Chi
Chris Weingarten.

Frank Ocean — Channel Orange
Every other music critic type who isn’t Jann Wenner or Chris Weingarten.

Jack White — Blunderbuss
People who didn’t think The Raconteurs were lame at all.

Leonard Cohen — Old Ideas
The elderly guy in your family that all your friends think is way cool.

Scott Walker — Bish Bosch
The elderly guy in your family that all your friends think is batshit crazy.

Fiona Apple — The Idler Wheel…
Neurotic girls who fidget constantly and are still crying about that letter Fiona wrote about her dog.

Kendrick Lamar — Good Kid, m.A.A.d City
Hip hop purists who have contributed multiple explanations to RapGenius.

Dirty Projectors — Swing Lo Magellan
People who have at least one album in their top-10-of-2012 list that they haven’t actually heard.

Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra — Theatre Is Evil
Former gifted children who frequently disprove the notion that there’s no such thing as a stupid question.

Purity Ring — Shrines
Excitable indie girls who have used the word “glistening” to describe music.

Animal Collective — Centipede Hz
Bug-eyed trippers whose cognitive faculties are now starting to suffer a noticeable decline.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor — ‘Allelujah! Don’t Bend! Ascend!
Thirtysomethings who have been wearing the same thrift shop cardigan for a decade.

G.O.O.D Music — Cruel Summer
Surly teens in expensive sneakers who sit with their legs spread wide apart on the subway and glower at you when you ask them to move.

Cat Power — Sun
Indie girls who have gone through a nasty breakup this year.

Jens Lekman — I Know What Love Isn’t
Indie guys who have gone through a nasty breakup this year.

Carter Tutti Void — Transverse
Black-clad Londoners who refresh The Quietus several times per hour.

Bobby Womack — The Bravest Man In Universe
People who really, really liked Gil Scott-Heron’s I’m New Here.

Woods — Bend Beyond
That guy with a wispy beard and a woolen hat you keep seeing at 285 Kent. (We know: “Which one?”)

fun. — Some Nights
People who found Foster the People’s “Pumped Up Kicks” too emotionally demanding.

Tame Impala — Lonerism
The dude with shaggy long hair who stands in front of you at every concert.

Pond — Beard Wives Denim
The dude with shaggy long hair who stands in front of you at every concert and burps and farts his way through the show.

How to Dress Well — Total Loss
People who are a) R&B obsessives and b) white.

Best Coast — The Only Place
Professionally “chill” West Coasters who have never heard of this Pocahontas band anyway.

Nicki Minaj — Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded
Ladies who wear sweatpants that have the manufacturer’s name plastered in large letters across the ass.

Alt-J — An Awesome Wave
Boring English people.

Mumford and Sons — Babel
Boring English people with beards.

Lana Del Rey — Born to Die
People who consider themselves “sophisticated” and who also consistently mispronounce the word “chanteuse.”

Sun Araw, M Geddes Gangras & The Congos — Icon Give Thank
Brooklyn-based Rastafarians.

Flying Lotus — Until the Quiet Comes
Grad students who like the idea of liking hip hop but don’t actually like any rappers.

David Byrne and St. Vincent — Love This Giant
Grad students who spend more time in the library than at concerts.

Alabama Shakes — Boys and Girls
Veteran Rolling Stone readers.

The xx — Coexist
Interior designers who buy one record a year.

Grizzly Bear — Shields
Williamsburg residents who’d be able to afford health insurance if only the rent on their loft was just that little bit cheaper.

Bob Dylan — Tempest
The three irascible baby boomers who take their bubbling existential rage to our comments section whenever we forget to mention Bob Dylan. Hey, guys! Look, we remembered!