Aspiring writers will never tire of reading lists of writing advice from famous authors, whether legendary or living. And why should they? These lists, the most recent of which to bubble up in our collective consciousness being advice from W.G. Sebald, contain countless encouragements, tips, and (in almost every case) directives to get to it and stop fooling about. But even famous authors can lead young writers astray — after all, not every suggestion works for everyone, or every rule for every type of writing, and we find ourselves deeply skeptical any time anyone tell us we must do something (or not do it). As Sebald himself advised, “Don’t listen to anyone. Not us, either. It’s fatal.” After the jump, a few pieces of bad — at least in our minds — writing advice from famous authors, and if you feel so moved, add to our list in the comments.
“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.” — Saul Bellow
We have found that no one is much interested in our book of half-awake scribblings recounting our dreams.
“Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you are doomed.” — Ray Bradbury
Tell that to Harper Lee.
“Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.” — Kurt Vonnegut
We happen to like a twist ending, thank you very much. Or at least a story that’s not so boring we know exactly what’s going to happen.
“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” — Oscar Wilde
Maybe on a grand scale, but not on a sentence level.
“Don’t try.” — Charles Bukowski
Unless he meant this in the Yoda sense (and he didn’t), we’re not biting.