The moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here! Last night was the premiere of the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, in which 14 of America’s finest queens compete for the ultimate crown. While there can only be one winner, each of these girls has something unique to bring to the table, and because Drag Race is the most exclusive of all the competitive reality shows, every contestant should get a chance to feel like a winner. Each week this season, we’ll “rucap” the show by designating a unique title for each competitor; check out our first round of superlatives below.
Sweetest Fish: Jade Jolie
In the drag world, “fish” means feminine, so if you’re serving tuna, chances are you’re the girliest gal of the bunch. Enter Jade Jolie, who loves “unicorns and rainbows” and has the prettiest voice to go with her megawatt smile. Jade has obvious advantages already, but will her well-intentioned camp cost her the crown?
Busiest Werker Bee: Detox
Dressed to impress in a bumblebee-like ensemble, Detox won the first challenge, which had the queens fully submerging themselves in a tank of water to pose for glamour shots taken by celebrity photographer Mike Ruiz. While she was ultimately deemed too safe on the runway, she looked professional and without a thread out of place. Detox may not have turned the judges’ heads all the way, but her perfectionism may lead to some more daring looks in episodes to come.
Hip-est Queen: Roxxxy Andrews
Roxxxy’s slinky black runway gown and comfort with her body led her to victory in the first runway challenge and immunity from elimination next week. The judges swooned over the hip cutouts on her gown, which kept the dress theatrical without showing off too much. Who knows — maybe the name on everybody’s lips this season is going to be Roxxxy.
Classiest in Trash: Alaska
The S.O. of last season’s winner, Sharon Needles, Alaska admitted that it was difficult to date a drag superstar when they both wanted the same thing and only one of the two originally earned a spot on the show. However, Alaska finally came around and made the choice to be “Sharon’s biggest fan,” and her class doesn’t stop there: her runway challenge look (which had to be made from trash) was a clever, body-hugging plastic gown accessorized with a giant trash bag. She may have big shoes to fill, but she’ll be walking in them with total grace.
Bitch to Beat: Alyssa Edwards
With a face to die (or kill) for, this lady is fierce competition, and — judging by her red, black and white runway look — a whole lotta drama. Turns out she already has some serious beef with former BFF and fellow contestant Coco Montrese, so all the ladies better get their fans out, because this fire will be burning.
DIY Diva: Ivy Winters
We first saw her in a caution tape tutu dress she made by herself, and her flowy scarlet runway gown earned her praise for the intricate and professional-looking detailing. The other queens better watch out, because the last girl you’ll see fumbling around with fabric is Ivy.
Dita von Tease: Vivienne Pinay
While underwater, she was nicknamed “Wettie Page” by Ru because of her pinup-glam sense of style. The self-proclaimed “fishiest girl in the race,” Vivienne looks great in silhouette-hugging polka dot dresses and lavish locks, but will her clean-cut look get her into trouble in some of the riskier challenges?
Modern-Day Cinderella: Lineysha Sparx
She made a crisp ballgown from wallpaper and, as an added touch, wore an actual shoe in her hair, giving her look the real “pump” it needed. She may hail from Puerto Rico, but nothing about Lineysha’s style is lost in translation.
Sleeping Beauty: Jinkx Monsoon
Now here’s a hindrance: Jinkx Monsoon is apparently an actual narcoleptic, and is prone to sleeping spells at random times (she can feel them coming and usually get to a sofa on time, but still!) Even her runway gown had pillow-like fabric billowing on her rear, as if she needed to make sure she’d be comfortable if sleep snuck up on her. This is a very unusual affliction for a reality TV contestant, but hey, if she’s made it this far, the gal is obviously great at navigating through her dreams.
Servin’ Serious Soul: Honey Mahogany
Equipped with the most coveted skin ever, Honey Mahogany has a rich voice (indeed, like honey) and wears a lot of caramel tones that, again, make you insanely jealous of that skin. She is absolutely beautiful and knows what looks great on her, but can she wear any dress she wants without it ever wearing her?
Material Girl: Coco Montrese
Alyssa Edwards’ rival (for reasons yet unknown to us), Coco Montrese hit the runway in an homage to Madonna’s shell bra (made from mini director’s megaphones) and a RuPaullywood-inspired dress. Her work as a Janet Jackson impersonator earned her a spot on this show, but will her love of emulating celebrities keep her from being herself?
Hottest Bod: Monica Beverly Hillz
Sometimes, you get a queen who defies pun-laden names and just goes for something obvious like “Monica Beverly Hillz.” She’s got a body to flaunt, and flaunt she will, but when the time comes, will creativity be her friend or her obstacle?
First One to Leave the Station: Penny Tration
Penny Tration had the funniest drag name, and her deliberately slow, verging on “Lena Dunham at the Golden Globes” way of walking down the runway encouraged Ru to coin the term “sissy that walk.” But her gown, in the end, proved subpar and her dance moves less than extraordinary — so this funny girl, unfortunately, had to pack her bags too soon.