Geez, SNL. When you have someone as charming and crazy talented as Django Unchained actor Christoph Waltz starring as your host, can the writers please throw the guy a bone? The Oscar-winning star was a standout even with the cruddy material handed to him. The number of mediocre moments outweighed the best, musical guest Alabama Shakes gave a solid — but boring — performance, and the Carnival Cruise spoof in the show’s cold open was only ok. We detail the best (and more of the worst) moments from last night after the jump. Give us your votes for the winners and losers, below.
The Best
New Tarantino Movie
We’ve been waiting all week to see how Tarantino’s Django Unchained would be incorporated into the sketches. The pre-recorded Djesus Uncrossed segment showed Waltz as a hyper-violent savior, with shades of Kill Bill. SNL cast members played Hollywood versions of Saint Peter (Brad Pitt), Pontius Pilate (Ving Rhames), and Judas (Samuel L. Jackson) while Waltz’s Jesus killed the Romans and reminded us that the “H” in “Jesus H. Christ” is silent.
Retirement Ad
Waltz hilariously played Pope Benedict XVI in a commercial for “Papal Securities” — a financial company for retiring pontiffs. They’ve been “helping popes retire since the last time it happened in 1450.”
Regine
Waltz invited his new girlfriend Regine (Fred Armisen) to dinner, which didn’t exactly thrill his friends. After introductions were made and the pals expressed that it was nice to meet Regine, she smugly uttered: “Based on what? You don’t even know what I’m like.” It’s hard to warm up to a person that orders absinthe with “just one ice cube,” but the friends do their best. Armisen and Waltz had great chemistry and timing, but Regine’s irritating superiority complex, and Armisen’s usual brand of awkward physical comedy, stole the sketch.
Jamarcus Brothers CD
The Jamarcus Brothers in a “sexy” CD sketch got funnier as it progressed. Waltz played the “adopted, white, virgin” Jamarcus brother named Engelbert. He popped up every now and then to belt out some uncomfortable lyrics during their performance.
Not online yet is Waltz’s monologue, which featured Taran Killam as “Casual Hitler.” Waltz complained about being stereotyped, and the scene was one of many little jabs at Waltz’s Austrian heritage.
The Worst
What Have You Become Game Show
Playing on Waltz’s perceived cultural/ethnic stoicism and the extremes of reality TV could have been funnier than this. The only saving grace was Waltz’s Psycho-esque dialogue with his mother and his wacky dance at the end.
Weekend Update: Sen. Marco Rubio
How many jokes can you squeeze out of Sen. Marco Rubio awkwardly reaching for bottled water during his rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union speech? SNL takes a shot, but it’s not worth more than a chuckle or two.
Tippy
We all know a pesky killjoy like this, and it’s not fun then either.
The grating Fox and Friends: 2013 State of the Union largely deserves a spot here, but “I am a Black Panther. When this is over, I’m going to smoke weed and do hip-hop songs,” and the scrolling list of corrections gave it a bit of an edge.