The Most Hilariously Disturbing Band Fanfiction You’ll Ever Read

The Internet is a strange, strange place. As we noted yesterday, Gerard Way penned an epic letter about My Chemical Romance’s breakup, but in certain corners of the web, fans are flat-out refusing to believe it, and expressing their disappointment in the most quintessentially MCR way — by penning fanfiction wherein the band continues to exist forever! The world of MCR fanfic is a strange, hilarious place, but it’s by no means home to the weirdest fanfic you’ll find out there. And so, to celebrate the, um, devotion of a certain breed of music fans, here’s a selection the most hilariously weird band fanfic, you’ll ever, ever read. Warning: it’s kinda dirty. Obviously.

mcr

My Chemical Romance

The undoubted kings of the fanfic world — Ficwad.com lists no less than 9,689 MCR stories, about seven times as many as their closest competition (namely Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy). With so many to choose from, there’s pretty much every outlandish concept you could possibly imagine — like “You Be Mine and I’ll Be Yours,” for instance, which describes itself thusly: “Chaptered Frerard AU in which nearly a quarter of all men are biologically able to carry children, and Gerard, who can carry children, has come to the realisation that he wants to have a child with his husband Frank.” Ooooooooooookay.

Sample passage:

“We don’t need a condom,” Frank murmured, kissing up and down Gerard’s body, “Unless you’ve forgotten, we’re making a baby now.”

Gerard gulped and stared up at Frank, blinking rapidly, “We’re doing this.”

“Yeah we are,” Frank said, grabbing hold of Gerard’s thigh and hoisting it up around his waist.