Open Letter to Woody Allen: We Don’t Like Seeing Old Dudes Romance Young Girls

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Oh, Woody Allen. We loved it when you made screw ball sex comedies in the ’70s where an unlikely guy (you!) gets a totally hot girl (Diane Keaton, Diane Keaton again, Mariel Hemingway). It was a stretch, but one we were willing to go along with.

We also loved a few of your more recent flicks, where you decided to stay behind the camera and remove the neurotic main character from the mix. As evidenced by your frequent fiction pieces for the New Yorker, your talent for comedic writing is impeccable.

But now the photos showing up from the set of your latest flick, Whatever Works, that suggest it’s going to be a combination of the two, with Larry David acting as your stand in and a plot that involves a love triangle with Evan Rachel Wood.

Did you learn nothing from The Curse of the Jade Scorpion? No offense to Soon-Yi, but we think that most audiences aren’t interested in your “paternal feelings” play out on the big screen.