The Internet loves nothing more than cats, but it’s rare that we look beyond the cute photos and memes to more seriously consider their place in our world. Flavorwire’s Highbrow Cat Week is an attempt to remedy that, with a series of pieces devoted to analyzing their impact on the cultural realm.
After a record-breaking 18 years on Broadway and countless productions worldwide, it’s no surprise that the legacy of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s bizarre musical Cats has lived on in the depths of the Internet fan-fiction community. After all, a musical featuring adult humans covered in makeup, Lycra, and fur seems like the perfect building block for creative writing exercises in which amateur authors imagine a world full of human beings dressed as anthropomorphic cats doing a variety of things, such as falling in love, rescuing abused kittens (again, this is a world in which people are dressed as cats), discovering confusing sexual urges, and building racially pure progeny. After the jump you’ll find a collection of excerpts from the Cats fan-fiction community.
From “Genetically Perfect”:
Macavity sat in his throne, leaning against the arm of the chair as his fingers tapped against it. The Hidden Paw was deep in thought about a new plan of his…but the thing that was getting him was how to perfect this plan. His gold eyes flicked up briefly as Griddlebone walked in.
“Penny for your thoughts, Mac?” Griddlebone drawled.
“I have almost everything set up…that scientist of a cat is almost done…I just need…”
“The carrier?” Griddlebone interjected. Macavity nodded.
“They need to be genetically perfect,”
“Meaning?” Griddlebone asked, sitting on the other arm of the throne.
“They have to be right in everything,” Macavity answered. “They have to have the right mental capabilities, have to be emotionally stable, wise, kind, have good leadership skills…and good looking would definitely be a bonus,” Macavity purred. Griddlebone twitched an eyebrow.
“And you’re going to find a Queen with all of those capabilities…and more?” Macavity hummed, getting to his feet and leaving the room. Griddlebone followed him from the room, down towards the basement. Macavity opened the door to the room and walked in, Griddle following him. The room was brightly lit with a stark white light…there were several tables lining the walls with scientific equipment covering them.