The Emmys last night were very long and very boring. I’m not sure poor Neil Patrick Harris got to crack a single funny joke all night, and by the time he lifted the champagne glass at the end, he really seemed to need it. So did the audience, I think. This was an unusually pointless Emmys, and it’s not like there was a high bar to begin with. But 2013 distinguished itself with too many in-memoriam segments and long interludes, and not a single speech of note other than the one near the top of this list.
The only hope we ever have, watching these awards shows, is that the participants will get drunk or high. No such luck last night. But here are ten moments we walked away with.
10. OK, there was one person who did seem out of it. It was Shemar Moore, who I always think of as “Neil’s black-sheep little brother Malcolm,” because that is the character he played on The Young and the Restless for years and years and years. Anyway, he would appear onscreen and much like an extra hoping that he’s just hit his Big Break, Moore would mug for the camera and talk over whatever poor star had to stand next to him — and man, that was kind of a train wreck for him, poor soul. Closest he might ever get to an Emmy.