There’s no use kicking the dead making-fun-of-Franco horse with another theatrically negative review, so we’re just going to post a handful of quotes from his book and Jameson’s, to see if you can tell their writing styles apart. If you get through this quiz without deciding that one or the other is unworthy of ridicule, then by all means pick up the book.
1. “FART? How about SHIT on your face, you mealy-mouthed, sycophantic fucking pussy that kissed my ass every time I saw you?”
2. “So, you don’t like anal, huh?”
3. “You also need love.”
4. “Playing out fantasies is good, but I wouldn’t want to risk trench mouth.”
5. “I’m just a stupid little girl who wants to be an actor.”
6. “Their girl-on-girl scene called for some serious acting.”
7. “Porn stars have to eat like everyone else, besides I’m part Italian. This spaghetti sauce is my grandmother’s recipe.”
8. “We were liberated cunts and legs in the winter wind, whipping, flapping, and flying.”
9. “I kept the handjob thing going with Juan.”
10. “Texting back and forth with her BFB — Best Fuck Buddy — wasn’t helping, either.”
11. “He told them to suck his cock, and everyone yukked.”
12. “Was it possible to come simultaneously in two orifices?”
13. “She was very wet and very pink, putting him in mind of a Georgia O’Keeffe canvas he’d come close to acquiring.”
14. “This may be news to you, Mother, but these days nearly everyone owns a flogger and a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.”
15. “Then I spit it all in the toilet. There was a turd in there.”
Click over to page 2 to check your answers.
1. Franco
2 .Franco
3. Franco
4. Jameson
5. Franco
6. Jameson
7. Jameson
8. Franco
9. Franco
10. Jameson
11. Franco
12. Jameson
13. Jameson
14. Jameson
15. Franco