The love of a great cat is not something one can celebrate openly. Those who would counter with the Internet’s great love of cats forget that you cannot respond to someone showing you a picture of their baby with your corresponding cat pic. You have to find other ways to express your appreciation of the feline kind, and you also have to do it in a way that indicates that you are slightly self-aware about how the only people who openly worship cats usually end up being arrested in raids of dilapidated townhouses. The best way for all cat lovers to do this is to simply appreciate cat-related cultural material. Here are our picks for the gifts you can give this holiday season that say, “I know you love cats. And that’s OK!”
Tickets to Inside Llewyn Davis
This is the only Oscar contender this year — possibly even in several years — that makes proper use of a cat thespian. It didn’t get a credit on the poster, and we consider this misleading advertising. The cat is very important. Go for the cat.
The Big New Yorker Book of Cats
The New Yorker has the singular privilege of being able to instantly elevate the subject matter it covers with that special “it’s OK to love this uncritically” imprimatur. They could probably put out a New Yorker Book of Jellybeans and it would suddenly become an acceptable subject for a symphony. Anyway: they put out a new book of their cat-related material this year and it’s excellent and you can read it totally without shame.
We have seen people wear these. They look great, in a way that no amount of faux-fur cheetah-print stuff can possibly achieve. They look like a gesture of respect to the great cats. And they keep you warm. It’s all a win with these tights, you guys.
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
There is a demonic cat in this legitimately literary novel. Which means you can have a whole conversation about a cat without any intellectual shame whatsoever. He is basically the embodiment of every murderous thought your cat has ever had, and let’s face it, cats have lots of murderous thoughts.
Jonathan Adler Cat Christmas Tree Ornament
Let’s say you consider your cat a part of the family and you think all family members ought to be represented on the Christmas tree. But your Christmas tree is tasteful. It offers only abstracted ornaments. Well, along comes Jonathan Adler to offer you this deeply tasteful specimen.
Original Pen Drawing of a Cat by Andy Warhol
Famous pop artist Andy Warhol loved cats. All of his were named Sam. He liked to draw pictures of them, as this pen drawing attests, and you can buy it for a mere $40K on eBay. Strictly for the art collectors, I guess, but it’s cool nonetheless.
We are in an age of great graphic literature, and this fun exploration by the artist Wendy MacNaughton and her partner of the migratory habits of one particular cat is great fun. Probably the kind of thing best discussed with other pet owners, but nonetheless useful to signal cat worship because it is Art.
Donate to the National Geographic Society and save a lion
Lovers of little cats also tend to love big cats. Many big cats in Africa are threatened because they tend to go after and kill livestock, and they need to be sequestered on their own preserves, called “bomas” to preserve the population. You can tell the friend you’ve gifted it to that they’ve saved a lion. Everyone likes lions. Aslan!
Cute for the person in your life who spends all day staring at their fingers on the keyboard, wishing they were at home with the cat.
Everyman’s Library Cat Stories
I found this in a bookstore once. Just a compendium of things that writers have written about, often enough, their own cats. Thoroughly acceptable indulgence in cat obsession. And you’re supporting Everyman’s Library, come on.
If I purchased this sweater I would have to consider that my cat would do two things with it. First, she would add her own fur to it, apparently concerned that I would not be warm enough. Then, she would probably knead it with her claws. But not everyone owns such an instransigent cat, and this is a real cute sweater.
These Japanese good-luck cat charms are everywhere these days. You might as well give your favorite cat lover one that is unique and special and only he or she will own it. At $325 a pop, odds are only a few people own these crystal beauts. And you, yes you, could join their number.