My Big Low-Cal Greek War is upon us: forget the Taliban, forget North Korea — the next true conflict is over Greek yogurt. Yesterday, we reported that Bob Dylan and Chobani have teamed up for the collab you’ve always dreamed of, and now, we’re happy (?) to announce that the Full House guys are reuniting to worship the yogurt company’s creamy arch-nemesis: Oikos. There’s no news yet of a yogurt-off between the world’s-greatest-folk-singer-turned-foodie and the former- guest-star-on-ER-turned-foodie John Stamos. There is, however, this Reddit AMA that John Stamos, Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier participated in last night, in honor of their reunion for Oikos. And, what do you know, we learned some things from it! Sorely missing from this list is news of a future Mary-Kate and Ashley Gogurt endorsement, but a boy can always dream.
1. Bob Saget claims he’s like his character, Danny Tanner, insomuch as he’s single and owns a dust-buster, though he never uses it. Cue America’s funniest home video of hausfrau Saget and his floundering attempts at dust-busting, slipping across the kitchen and landing face-first in a pie, sound-edited by Bop-It. Yours for the taking, ladies.
2. After changing out of an old pair of underwear on set, Dave Coulier would throw it up on to the roof of his dressing room, he puzzlingly states, “for Bob.” When Full House ended and Friends started filming on the same sound stage, the underwear was purportedly still there. Good thing Monica never noticed.
3. Sometimes, when Coulier was supposed to be shooting a scene, he’d instead appear in the bleachers, pretending to be an overenthusiastic fan of Full House. If, for example, Jesse was distraught in the scene, Dave would sympathize from the bleachers — “Oh No! Jesse is upset! HAHAHA!”
4. John Stamos alleges that he stays handsome by putting Oikos on his face. Whether or not he’s joking can really only be determined by trying it yourself (it might, likewise, be smart to see whether Chobani facials improve your songwriting).
5. If you see Dave Coulier head into a men’s room, run. When a fan asks John Stamos how to get into fictional band Jesse and the Rippers, Coulier interjects by comparing his sphincter to the latter part of the band’s title.
6. Conversely, if you see Saget and Stamos in a men’s room, stay put. They’ve been known to use urinals in character, with Stamos earnestly kvetching about how “Nicky and Alex won’t sleep,” just to make urinating bystanders lose control of their streams.
7. John Stamos is a self-diagnosed “Disney freak,” and his favorite Full House episode is the two-parter filmed at Disney World.
8. Stamos asserts that the show’s success, and its ever-venerating fan base 25 years down the line, is due to the mutual respect between both the show’s adults and its children, which, he claims, is something of an anomaly in family TV shows.
9. John Stamos was honored to be objectified by Jennifer Lawrence’s booty-fixated gaze at a party.
10. If Dave Coulier had to build a cheeseburger based on his personality, it would be one with “moldy cheese and a tiny pickle.”