Stereotyping You By Your Favorite Jim Jarmusch Movie

Only Lovers Left Alive, the ultra-cool vampire hangout flick from indie legend Jim Jarmusch, is out tomorrow in limited release, marking an even dozen feature films from the creatively coiffed auteur. It’s a fascinating filmography, encompassing multiple genres (from comedy to Western to action movie to horror) without fully turning over to any of them; all of his movies are, above all else, Jim Jarmusch Movies, which has sort of become a genre of its own. Yet the film that you pick as your favorite says a lot about you as a person — and thus we give the Jarmusch filmography our signature “stereotyping you by” treatment.

Permanent Vacation: People who write “First!” in comment sections.

Still image from Jim Jarmusch's "Stranger than Paradise"

Stranger than Paradise: People who have more than one pork pie hat, and more than one 78 rpm record.

Down by Law: People who pre-ordered Tom Waits’ Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards box set. Also, people who still haven’t forgiven Roberto Benigni for Life Is Beautiful.

Mystery Train: People who love Elvis. Also, people who “ironically” love Elvis.

Night on Earth: Women who’ve gone from wanting to be Winona Ryder to wanting to be Gena Rowlands.

Johnny Depp in Jim Jarmusch's "Dead Man"

Dead Man: Men who have, at least once in their lives, worn mutton chops and some sort of crafted mustache. Also, women who own at least one corset.

Year of the Horse: People whose entire wardrobe is comprised of flannel shirts and long underwear.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai: Men who own multiple Wu-Tang albums on vinyl, and multiple Seijun Suzuki films on imported Blu-ray.

Coffee and Cigarettes: People who still call each other “Billmurray” in casual conversation and couldn’t care less that other people don’t know why the hell they’re doing that.

Bill Murray in Jim Jarmusch's "Broken Flowers"

Broken Flowers: People who thought Bill Murray was too cheery in Lost in Translation.

The Limits of Control: Heidegger diehards who thought Ghost Dog had “way too much plot, man.”

Only Lovers Left Alive: People who rotate between multiple shades of black fingernail/toenail polish.