Absurd Urban Dictionary Definitions of Famous Authors

You probably know Urban Dictionary as the place where parental types lurk and where the English language goes to die. As crass as the definitions are, they’re occasionally accurate — especially in the case of these famous authors. Urban Dictionary users have a crude way of getting right to the point, which is where the humor in these definitions of iconic literary figures shines bright. They’re not exactly factual, but we can’t argue that Poe’s life sucked, that Franz Kafka needs his own rock opera, or that Vonnegut is deserving of much worship. Presented without comment, and with grammatical/spelling errors intact, see how Urban Dictionary defines your favorite writers, below.

woolf

Virginia Woolf

1. Pretentious Poseur: Do you know Virginia Woolf? No? She’s like one of the coolest writers around, dude. I can feel her pain man. Life is pain. I want to drown myself too.

English Professor: E.M. Forster wrote that Woolf’s weakness as a writer is her inability to get out of character. Consider the possible role of dialectic in Woolf’s works with respect to the relevance of a revisioning of the concept of realism in the wake of World War I.

Bitter Undergraduate: Did you know that Woolf caused my GPA to drop by 0.5? I hate these stupid difficult writers who make no sense.