In case you haven’t heard of the latest great tool for 21st-century women, there’s now a phone number that will respond to calls or texts with bell hooks quotes. Which makes it absolutely perfect as a fake number to hand out to creeps when you don’t feel safe politely declining their advances. Drop some feminist knowledge on their asses, huzzah!
Memorize it: (669) 221-6251. We texted and called a few times (see above), there are some prime hooks quotes in rotation.
But, if you find yourself in a situation where you do feel comfortable turning down an aggressive and/or overly obnoxious man instead of giving him a fake number or using the tired “I have a boyfriend” excuse, try these feminist kiss-offs on for size.
“Men know everything — all of them — all the time — no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are.” — Andrea Dworkin
“I think, therefore I’m single.” — Lizz Winstead, Daily Show co-creator
“I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.” — Yoko Ono
“The male is a biological accident: the Y (male) gene is an incomplete X (female) gene, that has an incomplete set of chromosomes…” — Valerie Solanas
“The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, the plasticized sensation.” — Audre Lorde
“No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.” — Simone de Beauvoir
“We tried not to smile, for smiling only encourages men to bore you and waste your time.” — Sheila Heti
“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.” — Jane Austen
“Woman is the dominant sex. Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they are worthy of woman’s attention.” — Camille Paglia
“Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.” — Nora Ephron
“I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.” — Elaine Benes, Seinfeld
“Why are women… so much more interesting to men than men are to women?” — Virginia Woolf
The classic: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” — Gloria Steinem
What to say when “Nah, dawg” doesn’t shut the dude down: “I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, OK.” — Madonna
“The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough.” — Germaine Greer