The Secret Lives of Multitasking Bras

So, what does a bra do? You know, besides hold one’s boobs up. Does it, for instance, pack some heat, like the fancy, new breast warmer The Awl is chuckling over? Lady-nerds rejoice: This gadget not only fits under your standard bra, but is also USB powered. That’s right. Why wear an extra layer of clothing or invest in an electric blanket when you can simply plug your undergarments into your MacBook? Sure, it looks kind of like something you might find hooked up to a patient in the ICU. But wouldn’t we be disappointed if Japan’s latest high-tech WTF were any less awkward?

Of course, this isn’t the only way to add value to your frilly unmentionables. Check out our list of five more strange, multitasking bras, under the cut.

1. Gask mask bra: Finally, some lingerie for the disaster-preparedness set.

gas mask bra

2. “My Chopsticks Bra”: What could be more Japanese than a bra that comes with its own dishes and flatware? And, yes — there is video.

3. “The Wine Rack”: No good can come of a garment that both increases your bust size and gets you drunk.

wine rack

4. “Magic Massage Bra”: It claims to do everything from “prevent breast diseases” to help wearers attain “a well-shaped figure.” But even if these dubious claims were true, is there anything creepier than a bra designed to feel you up?

magic bra

5. “Man Bra”: Feeling left out, guys? Don’t despair. A Japanese company has finally created the “Bro.” We have to wonder whether Larry David’s getting a share of the royalties.

man bra