“How Are Things on the East Coast?” A One-Act Play About Interpol

As you’ve no doubt read, the most high-profile people to have their plans thrown out by the crazy storm in Buffalo are none other than Interpol — they had to cancel last night’s scheduled Toronto show already, and as per Stereogum, they’re still stranded in their bus (but are apparently doing just fine and “will make it“). If you’re like us, you might have gotten to thinking: what would it be like being marooned in a snowstorm on a tour bus with Interpol for two days? Happily, the answer is here: behold How Are Things on the East Coast? — a one-act play about Interpol.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Paul Banks: Suave, blond, handsome. Wears a suit and tie. Does not respond to “DJ Fancypants.”

Daniel Kessler: Suave, dark, also handsome. Wears a suit and tie.

Sam Fogarino: Suave, dark, slicked-back hair, waistcoat, cigarette. Wears a suit and tie.

Brandon Curtis: Young, restless. Does not wear a suit and tie.

Carlos D: An absent presence.

A bus driver: He doesn’t know, he just works here.

A mixologist: So does he.

SCENE

A tour bus in Buffalo, New York.

TIME

The present day. Or so it appears. It’s hard to tell with all that snow.