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We Cast the Shit My Dad Says TV Show

It was only a matter of time before a Twitter page inspired a TV show. Mega meme Textsfromlastnight was optioned by Fox back in September, and now Twitter’s Shit my Dad Says is getting the same treatment from CBS.

The brainchild of 29-year-old Justin Halpern (who recently moved back in with his parents), the feed is composed of a bastion of one-liners from his curmudgeonly old man. The Hollywood Reporter says that Will & Grace creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick will executive produce and supervise the writing. Halpern will co-pen the script with former Screen Junkies writer Patrick Schumacker.

The Twitter feed has picked up over 700,000 followers after just 72 tweets thanks to gems like these: “I’m having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain’t mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil’ fucking umbrella in it.” “A scar ain’t 13 god damned stitches. I’ll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we’ll all laugh at your fucking 13 stitches together.”

While this instant popularity bodes well for the TV series, the key will be casting. Our list of possible candidates for the father includes Jeffrey Tambor, Kurtwood Smith, Sam Elliot, and Abe Vigoda — but our money’s on Ron White. He might be young, but his attitude is just right: acerbic, annoyed, half drunk, always about to take a crap, and disgusted with the new generation. Especially his son.

For the mother, we’d go with Kathleen Turner, who has been amazing this season on Californication in her recurring role as Sue Collini. Not that we have any details that suggest Mrs. Halpern is a sex-starved ball buster — we just want more Kathleen Turner.

Neil Patrick Harris would be great for the son if they could steal him away from another CBS comedy, How I Met Your Mother. Ditto Colin Hanks from Bones. But, we’re gonna settle with Andy Samberg. Perfect combination of youth and comedic timing — and we’ve already seen him play a son, remember?

What do you think? More importantly, will you watch?

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