Remember the kid’s book Goodnight Moon? So many of us have fond memories of being lulled to sleep by this comforting classic.

“In the great green room
there was a telephone
and a red balloon
and a picture of —
the cow jumping over the Moon” - Goodnight Moon

Well, brace yourself, because comedians Bruce Worden and Clare Cross have parodied the old favorite and the result is warped. Goodnight Keith Moon — not to be confused with the fantastic biography from Moon’s chaffeur, Full Moon — gives us new-found gems to fall asleep to (and have awful, cold-sweat inducing nightmares about, of course). A sampling? “And two broken sticks/and a pile of sick.” Ah, poetry.

But wait, there’s more where that came from.

“In the great green room
there was a telephone
and a dead Keith Moon
and a picture of —
Townsend jumping over the moon” -Goodnight Keith Moon

You can listen them to read the entire macabre tale above.

In a similar vein, we’re sure My First Rave: Fun with “X” would make for a really intimate book report.

The Mysterious Ticking Noise is a guilty pleasure for Harry Potter fans (and haters). This installment in the finger-puppet series ends with a pipe bomb.

Dude, They’re Gonna Chop Your Balls Off! is a special one for Sparky — and an ideal way to start that awkward conversation about where little puppies come from.

5. With Horton Hires a Ho! we’re confident that poor Theodor Seuss Geisel is rolling in his grave. “On the fifteenth of June, in the slums of the Valley/With his dirty coke spoon, in the dark of an alley…”